


I called you and said I love you

by saienti



Series: Callin' [2]
Category: A.C.E (Beat Interactive Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, DongChan if u squint, Feelings Realization, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Happy Ending, Junhee is a drunk bisexual, King Wow, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Protective Seyoon, Shameless Smut, Strangers to Lovers, Tiny bit of Angst, best friend Donghun, best friend Junhee, caring Yoonie, cringey plottwist, just Yoonie best boi ok, soft yoonie, virgin Kwannie, yes another WowKwan because i have problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:01:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 23,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23895742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saienti/pseuds/saienti
Summary: Seyoon never imagined himself calling a hotline to get off. But it might be the best decision he has ever made.☆Seyoon's POV for my Callin'-series.
Relationships: Kim Byeongkwan/Kim Sehyoon | Wow
Series: Callin' [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1717213
Comments: 75
Kudos: 121





	1. Sinful tongues

**Author's Note:**

> yaaaahhhhh its Seyoons pov of the Callin' series.  
> i hope u luv this. will try to update them simultaneously from now on!!!!

☆☆☆☆☆

  
  


Seyoon never imagined himself to search for something he knows is not marketed towards him. He is not a sad, grumpy man who wants to cheat on his wife by calling a hotline filled with men who offers you company and assistance when you jerk off. And they tell themselves it’s not cheating. Because they aren’t actually meeting someone. And they are also straight ™ . So calling a hotline with men on it who offers sexual services doesn’t even count. Because they are not gay. And it’s not cheating if you cheat with a gay man and you’re straight. That is their logic. And it is flawed. On so many levels.  
He hovers above the search button. If he presses that button, it will be in his search history forever.  _ Sex hotline for gay men _ . Is he insane? Probably. Does he need this? No. Is he lonely? Yes. Can he meet someone in real life? Yes. Is he too shy to talk to boys? Also yes. And so in his mind, this is the last resort. If he can’t be seen, and nobody knows his name, then maybe he can boost his ego to actually be brave enough to talk to someone in real life in a few weeks. He tells himself that this is just practice.  
“Hi, are you ready to go?” Junhee’s blonde mop of hair peeks around the corner to the living room, and Seyoon almost drops his phone in surprise.  
“Uh- shit. Yeah. Sorry I- I forgot the time!” he stumbles up, locking his phone and pockets it. God bless his best friend for interrupting him before he did something immensely stupid. Like calling a God damn hotline to jerk off. As he stands up, Junhee whistles in approval.  
“Ah,  _ King Wow _ . Look at you. The boys don’t have a chance. Come on, your shot is waiting for you in the kitchen.”  
“Did you seriously just call me Wow as a nickname?” Seyoon asks, an eyebrow raised.  
“Yeah, it suits you. All that delicious body squished into such tight jeans and a loose shirt? I’m drooling. Don’t tell Minji I said that!”  
“Bro code, I swear I won’t out your gayness!” Seyoon giggles and follows his friend to the kitchen. “I thought Hun would be here by now?”  
“You know Hun, his hair takes forever to ‘get the right swoop’ so he can impress that crush of his who, for the record, won’t even be there.”  
Seyoon rolls his eyes. Of course.  
“So does that mean I get his shot too?”  
“That means, I will pour myself another shot so we both get two in total!”  
They quickly down their shots, and grimace towards each other. It burns, and Seyoon hates it. But what did he expect, it’s cheap and probably not fully legal since they are a year too young to buy it from the store.  
Regardless, he needs it if he is going out as promised tonight. Because celebrating your birthday at home alone with some hamburgers is apparently against the rules. According to Junhee.  
“Happy nineteenth birthday, Seyoon!” Junhee screams at the top of his lungs, as if there is a big crowd nearby he needs to outdo in volume. “Let's get this bread!”  
And the inevitable time has come, to actually go outside and to the club. As if Junhee is sensing Seyoon’s hesitation, he reaches out and grabs Seyoon’s arm harshly.  
“I said let’s get this bread!” he states once more, motioning for Seyoon to get his jacket and shoes on.

  
  


☆

  
  


The club is warm and too small for the amount of drunk teenagers squeezed inside. Seyoon can’t move without bumping into one sweat drenched person after another. He feels so uncomfortable, and scans the room over and over to look for Donghun or Junhee. Even Minji would be great at this point. He hates it here.  
Finally he sees Junhee and Donghun platonically making out as they always do when Junhee gets too drunk.  
“Straight my ass.” Seyoon mutters as he walks over and pokes Junhee’s shoulder. “Yah, is this your birthday or mine? I was legit all alone in that gross crowd for an hour with no sight of my fucking friends.”  
Junhee laughs, all teeth and no eyes, before he pushes Donghun off and grabs Seyoon’s bicep. Donghun giggles and says he is getting another drink, before wandering off.  
“Does my birthday baby want all my smoochies instead? They’re for free only for tonight.” he says loudly over the music, and leans in. His lips are soft and wet from the heated makeout session with Donghun, and he tastes like some fruity drink and beer. Even though platonic, Seyoon can’t deny the feeling that stirs in his gut, he is enjoying this attention a bit too much. He pulls away, catching his breath. Junhee’s cheeks are dusted pink and his eyes are glittering.  
“Where is Minji?” Seyoon asks, even though he knows she is okay with Junhee’s drunk bisexuality.  
“She left way too early, she had an early class. But it’s not even 7pm!” Junhee pouts, looking genuinely disappointed. “Why do you ask? You know she is cool with this.”  
“Yeah, I know. I know. It’s just- I haven’t been able to do anything like this for weeks, and I’m very easily affected right now. I don’t wanna make things weird.”  
“Angel, you’re not making it weird, I promise. I love you, let me kiss you?” Junhee coos and leans in once more. And Seyoon lets him, kissing him back with fire coursing through his veins, pinning Junhee against the wall. Junhee loops his arms around Seyoon’s neck and mewls into the touch, licking into his mouth like he actually means it. Seyoon gets off to breathe for a second, before biting softly at the junction of Junhee’s throat, drawing a moan from the other man.  
“Fuck, Yoonie. If I was gay during my sober hours and not in a relationship- fuck- I’d be so into you, you don’t even know.” Junhee squeals when Seyoon bites down harder. He wants to roll his hips against Junhee, but he knows the line. No intimate touching. Only kissing and biting. Usually it’s easy, but Seyoon is so deprived he has a hard time controlling himself. Forcing himself to push off, he wipes at the corner of Junhee’s lips, the younger leaning into the touch.  
“I would love to stay, but I have to go. I can’t control myself, and you’re my best friend. I have to respect the rules we set up.”  
Junhee looks down at his feet, and nods. He looks sad.  
“Don’t worry, Junnie. Hun will be back soon, he can take care of you.” Seyoon reassures the blonde, who nods again.  
“Call me when you’re safe at home?”  
“Of course. I love you.”  
And then he leaves, desperate to get outside into the chilly May evening.

  
  


☆

  
  


He decides to walk home, letting himself sober up just enough until he gets to the flat.  
The air feels fresh, he is not being smothered with summer warmth, it’s just enough to not freeze his ass off while walking with only a light jacket.  
He hauls his phone up from his pocket and opens the browser. He uses the remains of his boldness that lingers from being drunk and before he can think more of it he presses search on his open tab from before they left. A myriad of sites pop up, and he is a bit overwhelmed to be honest. He didn’t expect this many hits, seeing how it still is kind of a taboo to do this, especially if you happen to be a gay man. But maybe that is the reason there are so many. There has to be lots of closeted gay men searching for somewhere to belong which would make the business lucrative.  
One site in particular catches his attention, because the name itself is so ridiculous. _Sinful tongues_. Who the fuck names a business like that? He shrugs and clicks the website, which greets him with a dark shade of red mixed with different pinks. The top of the pages read _SINFUL TONGUES ~ you know you crave_ _it_ and Seyoon cackles out loud. What the fuck is this? It sounds absolutely preposterous. He scrolls further down and there are names with no further information to them, but there is a tab where you can read very vague descriptions of the kind of fantasies they portray.  
“Hobi, super kinky- blah blah- bondage- nah-” Seyoon mumbles as he scrolls through the different stage names. “- Ten, submissive power bottom- blah- flexible, shameless- nah-” he continues, before stopping. “- Jason, shy, degrading kink- what?”  
Can that even work? Verbally degrading someone sounds pretty harsh. He immediately gets inquisitive to what this man is like. Surely they won’t allow someone to be verbally abused? That shouldn’t be legal. But then again, he knows nothing about this shit, or if it’s legal in the first place.  
There is only one block left until he is inside. While walking the last bit he reads about the terms and conditions, how payment works and what you can expect to get out of your call. Apparently you have to download an app to be able to call and pay, so Seyoon shrugs and follows the link to Appstore to download. While it downloads, Seyoon unlocks the front door and steps inside. He wiggles out of his jacket and toes off his shoes, before venturing towards his room, throwing himself back first on top of the covers. He glances at his watch, it’s 7.01pm, and it feels like meant to be when he realizes Jason starts his shift just now. What are the odds that he decided to leave early and find Jason interesting while reading up and making it to his bed just in time for the operator to begin his shift? Crazy.  
He struggles a bit to understand the app, but finally he sees that there is a green button next to Jason’s user where he can click. And with one last breath, he does. The call is picked up immediately.  
_“Ah, Sir. It took you long enough. I was getting impatient.”_ comes a soft, alluring voice. Seyoon is about to drop his phone. What?  
“Uh, what?” he asks, dumbfounded. Surely the other has no idea who he is? Was he expecting someone else? That must be it.  
_“Uh, hi. I mean-”_ the man stutters, and Seyoon’s heart twists, It’s absolutely adorable. _“- so-sorry. Good evening, you’re talking to Jason. How can I help you tonight, Sir?”  
_Seyoon swallows, trying to remain calm with the storm inside that Jason started by sounding so fucking cute.  
“I don’t know. Is this the ‘Sinful tongues’ hotline? I- I was looking for some- uh- some-” Seyoon doesn’t know how to continue. He feels his face flush with shame, what the hell is he doing? He’s obviously incapable of talking to strangers even on the phone. Great.  
_“It sure is, Sir. So. How can I please you tonight?”_ Jason says quietly, and seems to pay no mind to Seyoon’s very obvious embarrassment. To get his mind off the insane arousal that floods his mind just by Jason’s voice, he has to ask him something completely non sexual.  
“What was your name again? Jas-” he pauses. Breathe, Seyoon. “- Jason?”  
He hears a slight rustle, as if Jason is nodding. Seyoon feels nervous as he realizes he wants to come up with a fake name himself, because what if this is someone he might know? Fuck, what can he use? Sehni? No, that is far too childish. And then his mind stops, flashing Junhee’s cringey nickname he gave Seyoon hours ago. It’s absurd, but Seyoon doesn’t let himself dwell on it, he’s already been quiet for too long.  
“That is such a lovely name. I’m Wow.” he says and mentally slaps himself. It sounds far worse than he imagined, but it is too late now.

  
  


☆


	2. Dangerous territory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The phonecall that changes everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeeeee so i hope u like thiiiiiis.  
> took me a while since i go back and forth between the two documents to get the timeline and conversation right hhahahah.  
> ily!

☆

  
  


The silence is thick, and Seyoon is about to hang up out of sheer shame when Jason speaks again.  
_ "Wow-ssi. Than- thank you for- uh- calling. Wha-what can I do for you this evening, Sir?" _ the other whispers so softly Seyoon has to stop breathing to hear him. He is very unsure why Jason is so shy, but then remembers it’s in his description. Shy. And the degrading kink. Seyoon can’t deny he is curious, not about testing out degrading Jason, more so how it all works. Is the other getting off by being humiliated? It sounds insane. Seyoon is at loss for words. How is he gonna manage this phone call? What do you usually say when talking? Ugh,  _ no _ . He can’t say normal things. This is a fucking sex hotline. He tries to come up with something normal that still isn’t completely out of the realms of what this call is  _ supposed  _ to be about.  
"To be completely honest I have never done this before. But- uh- what are you doing right now? Are you alone?"  
He swears Jason is laughing at how pathetic he sounds. Why did he think he could do this? Also, what the fuck was that question? Of course he is alone. Otherwise Seyoon would have known he would be paying for two people.  
_ "That is okay, I will guide you through it. I’m alone now, yes. Are there any specific fantasies you want me to portray for you? Do you prefer me submissive or dominant? What kind of sex do you like?" _ Jason asks softly, and Seyoon barely keeps his body on the bed. He is so affected by this voice, it’s ridiculous. Seyoon panics. Were they going straight to the sex? He is not ready, fuck, what is he supposed to do? How does phone sex even work? Was Seyoon supposed to be prepared? Shit, oh God, he will embarrass himself more than he already have and they have spoken for a total of 1 minute and 46 seconds. Shit, fuck, help. Seyoon’s brain to mouth filter also seems to have taken a vacation just in time so he blurts out something he never would say within two minutes of meeting someone.  
"I like to- uh. I like to dominate mostly, but I don’t have to be on top. I would love it for you to ride me, maybe?" he hears himself say and wants to die immediately. Who says that? Not that he wouldn’t mind having someone riding his dick right now, but that is  _ not  _ how you ask for it. And Jason doesn’t even know him. What is going on? His mind is a mess. He is sure Jason will hang up without a word, so when he hears Jason speak again he is sure he died of a heart attack.  
_ "I love to be submissive, Sir. And riding you sounds like a lovely fantasy. How do you want to start? Maybe prepping me?" _ the teasing voice crackles through the speakers and into Seyoon’s brain. What? Prepping? Already? Seyoon hasn’t even gotten his pants off. He looks down at his throbbing erection, wondering if he ever had gotten this hard this fast just by a voice. He feels shame rush through him, what is he doing? Jason must be absolutely disgusted by him, calling here and saying such an absurd thing as wanting to have Jason ride him? Seyoon feels himself sweating, his breathing is irregular and he can barely focus on what color his God damn blanket is. Yellow? Or is that blue? Fuck. He doesn’t wanna dive into sex immediately. That is not why he called. Is it? He doesn’t know anymore, but hearing Jason’s voice for sure made this more about the both of them. Seyoon felt guilty before he even called. He wants to make this right.  _ Kissing _ . Kissing is what people in love do. Even though Seyoon hasn’t been in love, he has seen how it works. Junhee and Minji kiss a lot. Junhee kiss Seyoon when he is drunk, and it is usually paired with an  _ I love you _ . Junhee kiss Donghun when he’s drunk too, it’s always  _ I love you _ . Kissing is something normal, to Seyoon. Kissing is what you do when you love someone, or when you feel something for someone. He can’t convince himself he loves Jason, but he surely feels something. That is more than just shallow, stupid sex. So he goes for what feels most natural to him in this situation, what he would do if they were face to face.  
"I was thinking about maybe just- we could maybe-" he starts, barely avoiding to choke on his own spit. "- I would feel better if we- if we kissed first."  
He said it. He fucking said it. He expects the call to end this very second, he is coming off as the most creepy man ever. But there is a soft whirl of a breath on the other side, like Jason exhaled a bit too harshly.  
_ "Oh- uh- absolutely, Sir. I’m very sorry." _ is the answer, and Seyoon feels guilty. Did he already fuck up? King Wow indeed.  _ "It’s- it’s just that my regulars never treat me this way so I have grown used to getting straight to the point and then leave. I apologize for ruining your fantasy already."  
_ What? Did people just get straight to the point here? Wasn’t this supposed to simulate sex? Seyoon is more than confused by this by the second. He can’t understand what is going on, or why Jason would apologize. He feels the urge to reassure him.  
"Why would you apologize? Please don’t. As I said. I have never done this before and you are obviously- eh- experienced. So I am sure you know how this works better than I do. I don’t want to make you upset or disrespect you. I’m sorry, Jason-ssi!" he yelps, sounding panicked as fuck. The Oscars for the best awkward performance goes to Kim Seyoon. Applause. There is a pause, and Seyoon is sure he hears the softest of whimpers.  
_ "Sir, please. I am here to fulfill your fantasy. Anything you want from me, I will give to you. I am here for your pleasure only, for as long as our call last."  
_ Seyoon gapes. What? Is this only for him? No. He doesn’t want that. That is not the reason he called. He wants a connection, he wants to feel something. And the only thing he feels now is confused.  
"Fo-for me only? How do you mean? Why not the both of us?" he inquires, because he really wants for Jason to feel good aswell. Otherwise he wouldn’t have bothered to call, he could have just jacked off alone in his bed. He didn’t want a picture perfect doll, obeying his every command. No.  
_ "Wow-ssi, do you want me to please myself for you? Is that a part of your fantasy?” _ Jason retorts, sounding very insecure. Seyoon regrets being so pushy.  
"Uh- only if you want to. I mean as far as I’m concerned sex- uh- is supposed to make both of us feel pleasure, ri-right?" he tries, feeling the shame sting in his veins. This is so uncomfortable. Why did he even call?  
There is something whispered on the line that Seyoon can’t hear no matter how hard he tries, and a sharp inhale.  
_ "Okay, I will live out the fantasy together with you." _ Jason sounds bold, like nobody could change his mind. Seyoon breathes out. Then, he tries once more for the kissing.  
"Let’s kiss. Please?"  
The answer is quick and soft.  
_"Yeah, let’s kiss."_  
Seyoon sinks into his pillow, thinking about soft lips on his own, he has no idea what Jason looks like. But his voice, oh shit, that just made him insanely hot inside. After a few silent seconds, Jason speaks up.  
_ "Can you please tell me how you look like, I am unsure how to picture you for my own fantasy."  
_ Seyoon almost cracks a laugh, because it is so cute. Of course none of them know how the other look, and while that may be comforting, it can also be hard to live out the imagination of kissing. Seyoon quickly remembers a few things some different modeling agencies had told him in the past, and decides that will do. Describing himself in his own words would most probably end up in a disaster. He would say he is pretty damn good looking for being a piece of moldy chicken dumpling. And that is probably not something good to say to someone who wants to make out with you.  
"Oh, shit. Of course, Jason-ssi!" he rushes out. "I- uh- I have black hair, its approximately down to my ears, if I don’t style it that is-" he can’t help a giggle slipping out because describing yourself really feels absurd. "- I have been told I have strong brows, and a round but still angular face. And a dashing smile." another giggle slips out, but as soon as he realizes that he legitimately just quoted a quick description from an agency, he tries to defend himself. "Please don’t think I feel this way about myself. I only just repeated what I have been told at countless modelling scoutings! I would not call myself handsome."  
Jason laughs quietly, and stays silent. Seyoon waits for a few beats, until he understands that Jason might had gotten lost in thought.  
"And you?" he asks, trying to not disturb the peace.  
_ "Me?" _ there is a breath of silence.  _ "Oh right, sorry. I haven’t been evaluated by any modeling agencies. But I do have bright orange hair. And my best friend says my eyes are cat like. And he also told me he wishes he had my lips since they are 'so full and kissable', which I do not agree with, just so you know."  
_ Seyoon has to laugh out loud, it is one of the sweetest confessions he had ever heard. Jason just kicks all the dead butterflies inside in the butt, making them jump around like crazy.  
"So, can I kiss you, Jason?" he asks again, so ready to let his mind wander off with the pretty boy at the front of his thoughts.  
_"Please, I- yes, please."_  
And then, silence again. Seyoon can see the bright orange hair for his inner eye, putting an arm around his neck and pulling him closer. It feels like his skin is on fire when they touch, and he leans in hungrily, chasing Jason’s lips. He opens up and licks into Jason’s welcoming mouth, it’s so wet and inviting and Seyoon barely stops a moan. It’s not happening for real but Seyoon has never been more turned on, his dick is pulsating in his pants and he can’t breathe properly. Jason’s breath is heavy through the speakers, and Seyoon hopes it’s because of their shared arousal. He has to get out of these pants, but he doesn’t want to disrespect Jason, so he asks.  
"Do you want me to undress?"  
The answer comes within seconds.  
_ "Yes please, should I do that too, Sir?"  
_ Something uncomfortable nests in Seyoon’s chest at the word Sir. It makes him uneasy and he feels like he is superior which is not what he wants.  
"Please, don’t call me Sir. It makes me feel like I am above you, which I don’t want. I want us to feel equal. To feel good. Both of us." he suppresses a moan and tugs his shirt off violently. "I took off my shirt, will you join me?"  
Jason sucks in a breath, it crackles on the line.  
_ "O-of course, Wow. I- uh- I am taking my shirt off now." _ a quick rustle is heard, and then Jason’s soft voice again.  _ "So, I’m shirtless too. What do you wish me to do, Wow?"  
_ Fuck, Seyoon can’t focus on anything right now, he just wants Jason to eat him alive. What is an appropriate answer that will not be too much? Seyoon thinks, his mind frazzled and unable to form sentences.  
"I want you to lick my neck, touch my abs, my arms.” he says, voice weak and filled with need. "And I want to touch you. Mark your flawless skin, bite your neck, leaving memories of me being with you."  
He isn’t sure why, but he feels so insanely close to this person who might just be putting up a show for him. But he is too far gone to care if it’s not real. There is another gasp, and Jason sounds ashamed.  
_ "Wow, please. I am so-” _ he moans, but doesn’t finish. Seyoon desperately tries of a way to make him more comfortable.  
"Jason, you can tell me. Please, I want to make you feel good."  
I seems to help, as Jason lets out a breath and continues.  
_ "I’m so- uh- so hard. Can I- uh- touch myself, please?"  
_ Shit, oh God. Seyoon did not expect that. His dick twitches in response, a drop of precum rushing out and wetting the tip.  
"Shit, yes. I would love you to. Touch yourself, Jason." Seyoon blabbers out before he can even finish his thoughts. The breath that leaves Jason’s lips forces Seyoon to grab his own erection, hard.  
_ "Please, touch yourself aswell." _ Jason wails, and Seyoon groans loudly to let him know he did just that. There is a muffled sound of Jason spitting, and Seyoon gets even harder. Fuck, were they both so desperate they didn’t even have the time to look for lube? Shit, this is insane. He wants to reach out and touch the other man, his fingers are itching for skin that doesn’t belong to Seyoon.  
"How does it feel, Jason? I want to touch you, so bad."  
Jason moans, and Seyoon follows.  
_ "I wish you did. It would feel amazing. Can I put your fingers in my mouth?"  
_ The question alone makes Seyoon almost black out, he is so insanely horny he can’t feel his legs.  
"Fuck, oh shit. Yes, Jason. Oh god, yes." he whimpers. The slurping sound of Jason sucking his fingers echoes in his mind, he can almost feel it on his own flesh. His orgasm is mere seconds away, and he would be embarrassed if it wasn’t for the fact that Jason seemed every bit as turned on as Seyoon at this point.  
_ "Wow, I am so- fuck- so close." _ Jason says, he sounds so small and insecure. Seyoon feels the need to assure him he is not alone is this obscure handjob.  
"Oh my- fuck- yes me too. I haven’t done this- uh- in forever." Seyoon groans, his hand pumping him hard and fast, it sounds gross.  
_ "Can I- I- fuck- please- I’m sorry-" _ Jason whimpers, and Seyoon feels the need to protect him. Why would he apologize for wanting to cum? It makes no sense. Seyoon wants him to feel good. Jason deserves every orgasm in the world. Seyoon wants to give it to him.  
"Yes- ah Jason- please cu-cum with me-" he sputters out, and then his mind goes blank as he screams Jason’s name, painting his chest with messy, sticky ropes that reach to his throat.  
The silence is deafening, Seyoon can’t remember ever feeling this good. After he catches his breath, he puts Jason on speaker, and goes to finish the payment. How much would be okay? He wants Jason to feel like his time wasn’t wasted, especially since Seyoon wants to continue to just snooze in each others ears, like one does in the afterglow. He has no idea how much to pay, and there is panic rising in his chest. He really wants to talk to Jason again, he feels so attached. He has to make sure to not make Jason think his time is worth nothing. Quickly he presses in a thousand dollars, praying it won’t be too little, and sends it.  
A ding sounds through his ears, most probably from Jason’s device letting him know he got paid. And Jason gasps.  
_ "Wow! Why did you- what- why did you give me-" _ the other stutters out, and Seyoon is unsure if it’s good or bad. Hopefully good because he sounds surprised regarding the amount.  
"Shhhh, please. Let me. It’s the least I can do for stealing your time. Although I am very sure this wasn’t the last time. If you don’t mind, of course?" Seyoon shushes him, a smile on his lips. "And-" he adds quickly. "- I really only wanted you for myself tonight, so I hope this makes up for the calls you will be missing. Because I assume you’re quite popular, since your name is on the front page of the website." he lets a giggle slip out. He really does hope it makes up for the money the other won’t be making on calls tonight. He has no idea how much Jason usually earns. And he would be lying if he said he isn’t scared he fucked up. "Please fall asleep with me? I promise to not stay all night."  
The answer is immediate, and it makes Seyoon’s heart melt.  
_ "No, Wow. Please stay the night."  _ Jason mumbles, it sounds like he is smiling.  
"Okay, Jason. Good night, thank you for tonight. I haven’t felt so wanted in my entire life." Seyoon says, wanting to really accentuate how much he appreciated tonight. He isn’t being dramatic, this is just- way better than anything he ever experienced. With anyone. Ever. And the butterflies are whirling around, choking him with emotion for a man he isn’t even sure is real.

  
  


☆

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i looooveee this chapter, it really makes Sehnis feelings cum through imo!!!!  
> how do u feel seeing Sehnis pov of the whole ordeal? does things make more sense? personally i think it does. uwu  
> thanks for supporting me!!! <3


	3. Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seyoon can't get a hold of Jason for one night, and it makes his mind wander.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so this chapter... got longer than expected. but i want everything to be on the same timeline with every chapter so nothing will get confusing.  
> i hope u enjoy it!  
> Kwannies pov is up on work no1 ♡

☆

  
  


School feels extra harsh today, and it’s probably because he is looking forward so much to tonight. Last night Jason finally opened up, they got personal and it felt surreal to start to get to know the person behind that voice. Of course, Seyoon isn’t complaining, their sexual phone calls have been insanely good. But he is also very intrigued by the man who have been giving him so much attention all week.  
So he can’t deny the twinge of disappointment that washes over him when he comes home and opens the app and sees there is a red dot next to Jason’s name. Someone managed to call before him. There is a slight worry inside, what if it’s… Jasons old regulars? Just entertaining the thought makes him nauseous, and he quickly scolds himself. This is what Jason does for a living, they are just customers.  _ He _ is just a customer. Should he feel jealous? Absolutely not. Is he jealous? Fuck yes. So jealous it hurts. When the hell did he become this possessive?  
He sits and stares at Jason’s user for at least five minutes, willing the other caller to hang up. But then he tells himself that a call could be at least twenty minutes long, depending on the service given. So he keeps the app open, and puts his phone down next to him in bed.  
While he is waiting, his mind wanders off. He tries to perfect the image of Jason for his inner eye, adding details that he feels belong there. Cat like eyes, a bit lighter than Seyoon’s own according to what Jason said in a whim while talking about him and his best friend going to get his friend some new glasses. And his lips, the way he described them during their first phone call still sends tingles down Seyoon’s spine.  
Suddenly he jerks up, filled with an intense wish to sketch up how he thinks Jason looks like. He rummages quickly in his drawers under his desk and finds some of his high quality pencils and his beloved sketching book. He flips up an empty spread and gets to work.  
After a few minutes of drawing the outlines, he pauses. And looks. It already feels right. He puts extra effort into the details he has the strongest connections to, which is the eyes and lips, and takes an easy way out with the nose by drawing Jason in a slightly shy pose, his hand covering a part of it.  
He only colors in the bright hair, the irises and his pink lips. And puts the pencil down. He is satisfied. It really looks like what he sees when he thinks of Jason. He looks stunning, and Seyoon’s heart vibrates with want. He lets his index finger trace the soft locks of the orange hair, then the jawline and stops at his lips.  
"I really wish I could touch you, Jason." he whispers under his breath, as if Jason might hear him should he speak any louder. Then he picks up his phone. It’s still a red dot. Fuck. 7.18pm. That fucking regular needs to hang up.  
As soon as the thought passes his mind, the dot is green. His heart jumps up in his throat, almost suffocating him, but before he can press call, Jason is offline. What? No! Why? The small wave of worry Seyoon felt before becomes a huge wave, what the hell happened? His mind is racing and he can’t bring himself to relax. Something must had happened. He gets up and paces his room, feeling uneasy and closer to a panic attack for every passing second.  
He is sure Junhee can hear him, and he suddenly feels the need to talk to his best friend. He needs to vent, he can’t do this alone any more, so he opens his door and strides into the living room.  
Junhee is squished up in a corner, rolled in a thick blanket with the biggest cup of tea Seyoon has ever seen.  
"Oh, hi. I thought you went to bed, Yoonie-hyung. I made tea. There is some left in the kitchen. You look frazzled, baby. Take a cup and come talk to me." Junhees voice is soft and his eyes warm. Seyoon almost starts to cry because nobody can read him like Junhee and he really needs his best friend right now.  
"Thank you." he mumbles before he goes to get some tea for himself.  
“So, what has your mind in a tornado now, angel?” Junhee asks when Seyoon sits comfortably next to him under the fluffy blanket.  
“So-” Seyoon has no idea how to start this. He doesn’t want to admit he have been calling a sex hotline for the past week, but how would he describe what he and Jason has? He can feel Junhee’s eyes on him, and squirms. This might have been one of Seyoon’s less good ideas.  
“I won’t judge you, you know that. Is this about your birthday and me being sulky because you left me after making out? Because-”  
“I met someone.” Seyoon blurts out. Junhee’s mouth stays open mid sentence.  
“You have?”  
“Well, we- uh- we haven’t  _ met  _ met, but-” Seyoon trembles. Fuck, how is he gonna explain this?  
“Wait, what? How can you have met someone you haven’t met?” Junhee sounds very confused.  
“I mean, we haven’t seen each other in real life, but we have- uh- we talk. Daily. On the phone.”  
“Oh, so you mean like a pen pal but on the phone?”  
Seyoon groans. Ugh. Jason isn’t a fucking pen pal. He is a sex worker who gets people off for a living. Fuck, this would be way easier had Jason actually been a pen pal.  
“Yeah, grandpa. A pen pal. On the phone. Exactly.” Seyoon deadpans. Junhee looks like he doesn’t get that Seyoon is joking. And suddenly, Seyoon realizes this is great. Now he doesn’t have to admit what he has actually been doing. Bless Junhee for being a grandpa stuck in a teens body.  
“Well, I guess that is- good? Is the person nice?”  
“He is very nice. His name is Jason. He has orange hair.” Seyoon smiles just thinking about him. Wow, he is in deep.  
“That is really nice. Do you have a picture?”  
Shit, he is stuck again.  
“N-no. We haven’t- I haven’t shown him my face either.” Seyoon mumbles.  
“What if he is a catfish? Yoonie, are you sure his name is even Jason?” Junhee inquires, sounding like a parent all of a sudden. Why did Junhee have to be so logical about this? Seyoon sighs. He just wanted to talk about his crush and he is honestly feeling so attacked right now.  
“I don’t know, Junnie. He has no idea what my name is either! I used a code name too. So we are both equally lying if that ever becomes a problem!” Seyoon yells, a bit too loudly.  
“What? Why would you do that?”  
“For- for fucking- my own safety? I don’t know! Why do you ask such grown up questions? I’m the oldest!” Seyoon pouts, feeling so very defensive for no particular reason. He hates to admit it, but hearing Junhee ask all this makes him that more sure he wants to get to know Jason more. “And for your information, my fake name is very obviously fake. I said my name is Wow.”  
Junhee barks out a short laugh, eyes crinkling. And then he pauses.  
“Oh, you’re serious? Yoonie, what? Oh my god-”  
“I panicked, okay?” Seyoon shouts, but can’t help cracking a smile aswell until they are both full on wheezing.  
“I love you, hyung-” Junhee wipes at his eyes. “- and don’t get me wrong, I’m really happy you have found a pen pal-” Seyoon whacks him with a cushion. “- jeez, okay! A friend. But don’t put all your time on him, there are so many real life people around you aswell. I just- I know you’re shy. But don’t pass up on friendships or relationships in real life just because you’re hooked on this boy?” Junhee says, voice filled with worry. Seyoon snorts, getting slightly defensive again.  
“I really like him. And hopefully we will meet soon. But if can skip your lectures in the future by now saying I will not pass up on relationships because of Jason, I’m here to tell you that I will not pass up on relationships because of Jason.” Seyoon says in a mocking tone, and Junhee sighs. He doesn’t look convinced at all.

  
  


☆

  
  


“Are you sure you can’t go? Please! You know Hun’s crush will be there, and you know how he has been going on about finally ask him out. I will be  _ alone _ ! So alone!” Junhee whines, laying dramatically over Seyoon’s lap as he tries to concentrate on finishing his late assignment.  
“You’re such a social butterfly. Being alone is something you never have to suffer from. You’ll find ten new friends before Hunnie even manages to shove his tongue in that other boy’s mouth.” Seyoon mutters under his breath while he struggles with an assignment, his laptop parched on top of Junhee’s rib cage. He really wants this done before 7pm so he can call Jason. “Besides, that party is like a month away, why are you panicking now?”  
“Because I need a month convincing you that you should come too.”  
“I’m not going. I hate parties. The only exception I make is for my birthday, and that has already passed.”  
Junhee feigns crying, but he sounds more like a dying whale.  
“Finally, I’m done. Get off me, I need something to drink!” Seyoon shuts his laptop and pokes Junhee’s side, making him jump in surprise.  
“Yah! Don’t tickle me, I’m baring all my sorrows here for you and you don’t even care!” Junhee pouts, but gets up reluctantly.  
“There are no sorrows splayed out here, you have no sorrows when it comes to parties, Junnie.”  
“This party will take my sorrow virginity! I will be the loneliest boy there!” Junhee tries to look hurt while picking up his jean jacket that he threw on the floor when he entered the living room five minutes ago to annoy Seyoon. Seyoon rolls his eyes with a smile.  
“No, you won’t. Now go on your date, Minji is probably waiting for your late ass. I’m gonna call Jason.”  
Junhee shoots him a pointed glare when he walks to the front door to put his Converse on.  
“You’re already getting too attached to him. I’m gonna find you a date. Bet on it!”  
“Good luck, silly!” is the last thing Seyoon manages to say before Junhee is out the door.  
Ah, finally alone.  
“Forgot my wallet!” Junhee squeals when he rushes in to his room and then back out again. “Don’t wait up, old man!”  
The front door slams again.  _ Now _ . Finally alone.  
6.59pm. Perfect. He will beat the other man. His thumb hovers over Jason’s user, counting the seconds until it finally hits 7pm. Green dot. He clicks so quickly he can’t even register he did it until the call starts up.  
_ “H-hell-o-oh?” _ Jason’s voice comes through. Seyoon’s whole body feels warm, the butterflies starts flittering around inside, his heartbeat picks up just knowing he called first. The adrenaline is still palpable.  
“Jason-ssi. I missed you.” Seyoon rushes out. “More than I should have, maybe.”  
Jason exhales, sounding relieved.  
_ "It feels like forever when we hang up.”  
_ Seyoon’s heart twist, he feels the same. And to hear Jason say it makes his knees weak. Good thing he is already sitting on the couch.  
“It really does.” he says, meaning every single word. There is a short pause, and Jason speaks again.  
_ “How was your day, Wow-ssi?”  
_ “It was great.” It wasn’t.  
Another pause. Seyoon takes a deep breath and before he regrets it, he asks.  
“Do you think we are ready to drop the formal? I know it might be too soon, but I feel so close to you and- not hearing your voice yesterday left me to my thoughts. And I really would like to get to know you. Please?”  
Jason is quiet at first, but then it sounds like he is smiling.  
_ “Ye-yes please. I would- it would be an honor.”  
_ Seyoon’s heart feels light. Fuck yes.  
“So, how old are you?” he asks, because he has been pondering this for a few days, not really knowing what to expect. So the answer catches him completely off guard.  
_ “I am turning eighteen in August. And you?”  
_ What. The. Fuck. Eighteen? In August? Meaning he is seventeen now? Seyoon’s head spins. He is a minor. Jason is a minor. A child.  
“You’re- what the- how are you allowed- who the fuck hired you like- isn’t this like illegal?” Seyoon almost screams, he is so overwhelmed.  
_ “Ah, it’s fine reall-” _ Jason tries to reassure him but Seyoon cuts him off instantly.  
“You’re a  _ child _ , Jason! I- I don’t know what to say. I feel like- I’m so sorry. I should hang up-”  
Because honestly, Seyoon feels horrible for talking to a minor in such a way. He is a predator. A disgusting piece of shit. Someone he swore he would never be. He cursed out Jason’s other regulars, but he is no fucking better. He wants to hang up and drown himself in the bathtub. Fuck. They don’t even have a bathtub.  
_ “Please, no! Don’t leave me. I don’t feel used by you. Please, Wow, stay. Just talk. Please! Don’t- don’t make me talk to the other clients again!” _ Jason yelps, there is a palpable panic in his voice, which catches Seyoon’s attention immediately. So his suspicions about yesterday were true. He can basically hear Jason reason with himself whether to tell Seyoon about what is going on, before he finally decides with a quick inhale. Seyoon listens.  
_ “Yesterday, when I a-answered the first call, I- uh- I thought it would be yo-you.” _ Jason says with an unstable voice. Seyoon’s gut twist. This sounds bad.  _ “But it- it wasn’t. It wa-was my old regular. And I- he- I-”  
_ He hears a soft sob in the speakers, and tries to think of a way to comfort Jason. Even though he can’t do much. He wants to try. The least he can do is listen.  
“Jason, tell me. Please. What happened? What did he do?” his voice is barely a whisper, he is scared of what he might hear.  
_ “He made me- we- I am  _ such  _ a loser. I- I caved. I was sca-scared. I couldn’t he-help it. I’m so ashamed. And after- after that I hung u-up. I couldn’t tal-talk more after that. I’m so-sorry for being such a patheti-pathetic person, Wow.”  
_ Seyoon feels his heart fall to his feet. He is so angry, so disgusted with the men who can make someone feel like this, someone who can make  _ Jason  _ apologize for being the fucking  _ victim _ . He clutches his phone way too hard, the rage boiling inside him.  
“I am gonna fucking kill him. How dare he? I- I don’t even know what to say. Fuck, I- Jason, I want to help you. How can I help you?”  
He feels helpless, so helpless. There is nothing he can do, and it crushes him. He so desperately wants to help Jason, his heart hurt for him.  
_ “Just ta-talk to me every ni-night. Don’t give him a cha-ance to call. You don’t even have to- to pay me. Just please. Stay- stay with me.” _ Jason whimpers, and there is nothing Seyoon wants more.  
“Anything.”  
_ “Can you te-tell me about your day? To- to help me keep my mind o-off him.” _ Jason cries silently, and Seyoon obliges immediately. He talks for what feels like hours. He talks until his throat is sore and he needs to get some water. He hears Jason snore lightly on the other line, every breath creating the smallest crackle through the shitty phone mic. And for a while, he just listens. He loves hearing him sleep, assuring him that Jason is alive, and haven’t done anything to hurt himself.  
After an hour, he tries talking again.  
“Jason? Are you awake?” he coos softly. There is a rustle. “Jason?”  
Then, another rustle, and finally Jason’s voice.  
_ “I’m awake, Wow. Thank you.”  
_ Seyoon smiles.  
“Did you sleep well?”  
_ “I did. I don’t even know how to thank you for taking care of me.”  
_ “You don’t have to, it is my pleasure. Do you want me to hang up?” Seyoon asks, not wanting to overstay if Jason is uncomfortable.  
_ “No. Please stay. Cuddle with me.”  
_ “I want to. I really do. Kisses?”  
_ “Kisses.” _ Jason agrees, and Seyoon loves that they made it their little strange thing.  
A few beats of silence, listening to each other’s breathing.  
_ “Can I touch you?” _ Jason asks suddenly, catching Seyoon mid thought.  
“If you feel comfortable. I- I really don’t want to- you know- hurt you.” Seyoon answers truthfully, because he is perfectly content with just imaginary kissing for now.  
_ “You’re the only one who can’t.”  
_ And that is all it takes for Seyoon to let go completely, trying his best to show Jason how he feels.

  
  


☆

  
  


“Soooooo, are you sure you’re not going, hyung?” Junhee pouts, already halfway out the door, hand in hand with Donghun.  
“Don’t nag him. I promise I won’t abandon you immediately!” Donghun tries to comfort Junhee, to no avail.  
“ _ Lies _ , it’s all lies. As soon as you see him, I will be Mr. Lonely!” Junhee sighs dramatically, but caves. “I bought you some takeout, it’s in the kitchen. Please wait up for me, I will need a ton of cuddles when I get back!”  
“I will, I promise!” Seyoon waves them off, Junhee throwing him a last mock hurt expression before laughing it off, swinging hands with Donghun as they walk to the bus stop.  
He feels oddly empty. Jason told him he is having the night off because of graduation, so they won’t talk until tomorrow. But he tries to keep his mind occupied with watching his favorite movie, listening to music and drawing.  
“It’s just for one night.” he reminds himself as he sees the clock strike 7pm. “You lived your whole life without talking to him ever. You can do one night.”

  
  


☆


	4. Face to face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They are closer than they realize.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wohooo so ch4 of both Yoonie and Kwannie pov is up now!!!  
> i hope u enjoy reading this chapter!!

☆

  
  


The door unlocks and a slightly wobbly Junhee falls through, just as Seyoon exits the kitchen after getting some water.  
“Are you still drunk?” he asks the blonde, who shakes his head vigorously. “I take it as a yes.”  
“I found your date!” Junhee squeals in delight, clinging onto Seyoon’s shoulder.  
“You’re  _ definitely  _ still drunk.”  
“He is perfect for you. He is so cute and his hair is that color you like, and he-”  
“Don’t do this, Junnie. I already told you, I’m not interested.”  
“But Sehni-”  
“Please.” Seyoon begs him, not in the mood for another scolding of his hang up on Jason. Junhee’s expression changes immediately, as it always does when he is drunk. It’s an emotional roller coaster ride and Seyoon haven’t buckled up properly when the blonde starts almost yelling.  
“You are absolutely ridiculous! Why don’t you wanna meet someone? This boy I found for you is perfect, and all you ever think about is that stupid Jason and his fluffy hair and I’m sick of seeing you go under like this because of someone who is catfishing you! Can’t you see I’m trying to help? Jason isn’t real, you have to understand that!”  
The words sting, and even though Seyoon usually knows better than to bite back when Junhee gets like this, he can’t help it now.  
“Just because your life is so peachy with a lovely girlfriend and no problems getting new friends or showing your face and talking. Do you even understand how much I can’t stand my body or face some days? Most days I wanna rip my skin off my bones, or just hide in oversized clothing because of how I look. And to top this shit off I’m so introvert I get flustered meeting my own gaze in the mirror when I brush my teeth. You don’t get that, right? Has it ever occured to you that I never asked for your help in the first place?” he spits back, eyes narrowing and shrugging out of Junhee’s grip around his shoulder. “No, it haven’t. Because you’re so set on helping me that you don’t even see what I need help with. A boyfriend won’t magically fix me. So back off.”  
Junhee’s mouth opens and closes a few times, without a word. Seyoon darts into his room and locks the door. Fuck. He knows Junhee cares, more than anybody, but sometimes he is too forward for Seyoon’s soft heart. Because Seyoon has already thought about Jason being a catfish, multiple times. He doesn’t need Junhee to remind him.  
“Yoonie? Please, I’m- I didn’t mean- I’m sorry-” Junhee pleads on the other side of the door, but Seyoon ignores him. He just want to sleep, so he buries his head in his soft pillows and closes his eyes.

  
  


☆

  
  


Seyoon wakes up to a soft knock on his door, and a quiet whisper.  
“Sehni, angel, please open. I want to apologize face to face.” Junhee says in a small voice. “I got you breakfast.”  
Seyoon wants to hide, but his stomach has other plans and makes a loud noise at the mention of food.  
“No, go away.” he tries anyways.  
“I heard you. You’re hungry. Please let me fix the mess I made?”  
Seyoon’s belly rumbles again, and he sighs heavily.  
“Fine.” he mutters as he puts on his slippers and waddles over to the door to unlock it. As soon as he opens it he it met with a puffy eyed Junhee, holding a tray with some rice and tea. His hair is poking in all directions and he looks extremely tired.  
“Did you sleep at all? You look dead.”  
Junhee shakes his head.  
“I couldn’t sleep because of the guilt of lashing out on you because I don’t know how to help you even though I try and then you proved me right with your words and- I’m so sorry, angel.” Junhee sniffles, new tears spilling onto his cheeks. Seyoon can’t be mad anymore, so he takes the tray from Junhee and puts it on his desk before wrapping him up in a hug.  
“I didn’t mean it to come out like it did. I’m sorry. I guess I got lost in wanting to find you a boyfriend that I forgot what you wanted. He  _ is  _ cute though. Like  _ really  _ cute.” Junhee pulls half a smile through his tears, Seyoon feels it against his neck.  
“I guess it’s okay. As long as you promise to not nag anymore from now on. Deal?”  
He pulls away and holds out his pinky. Junhee takes it.  
“Deal.”  
Then Seyoon takes his tray and joins Junhee in the living room for breakfast while watching cartoons until Junhee falls asleep in his lap.

  
  


☆

  
  


His soul feels light when the clock finally closes in on 7pm. He missed Jason embarrassingly much for the past day and a half, and to finally hear his voice again creates a warm glow that nestles in Seyoon’s body.  
“How was graduation? Do you even remember it?” he jokes, because he sure as hell can’t remember his own. All he knows is that Junhee got him and Donghun stupid drunk, and the next thing he remembers is the three of them waking up nude in a bed, with no recollection of how they got there or what happened.  
_ “Yes, I didn’t get too shitfaced. I think. But my best friend ditched me for sucking face with his crush so it was a bit lonely for a while, before a boy came up to me and kept me company! We had ice cream and he got me a cab home!”  
_ Seyoon feels a small twinge of jealousy, and quickly ignores it. Jason is not his boyfriend, for God’s sake.  
_ “I missed you a lot yesterday though, it felt so weird to not talk to you like usual.”  
_ Seyoon hums, the jealousy replaced by a soft light.  
“I missed you too. But it sounds like a great night. Are you feeling well today?”  
_ “I am, thank you. What did you do last night?”  
_ “Ah, nothing really. I watched a movie and drew a bit.”  
_ “I didn’t know you could draw! That is so cool!”  
_ Seyoon blushes, because nobody has ever called him cool for drawing before.  
“There is a lot you don’t know. And I’m not that good, so don’t get your hopes up.”  
_ “I get excited every time you share a new piece of information with me. We have time to get to know each other, don’t worry! Would you ever draw me?”  
_ Seyoon’s heart stops, and a nervous laugh bubbles out. What? Why is that question making him feel so fidgety? It’s not like Jason knows Seyoon already tried drawing him.  
“I don’t- uh- think I could- uh- ever do you justice.” he stammers out, and regrets the cheesy line the second it leaves his lips.  
_ “Ah, don’t be silly, Wow. I bet you can make me look magical!”  
_ “I’m very sure you’re already too pretty to be captured on paper by simple lines of ink.” he hears himself say. Oh my God? What was that? He has to force himself to not punch himself right in the fucking face, that was by far the cringiest thing he has ever said out loud. Ever. Jason doesn’t seem to mind though, because he yelps in the cutest voice ever.  
_ “Oh stop it, you mushy piece of pie!”  
_ Seyoon’s smile just grows, Jason is literally the sweetest thing he has ever heard. He wants to be able to make Jason sound like that for the rest of his life.  
“That was adorable. I love it when you get all giggly like that, baby.”  
Suddenly the line goes eerily silent. Jason’s breaths becomes short and ragged, crackling through the speakers. Seyoon tries to understand what just happened, what did he do wrong?  
_ “I- I think- I have to go-”  
_ Seyoon scrambles to find words to say, but all he can manage is a measly “Jason, wait-” before the line goes dead. The silence rings in Seyoon’s ears, and he can’t figure out what the hell just happened. The dot is green, meaning Jason is still online. He presses his user again, to no avail. Jason doesn’t pick up. Seyoon has to get up from bed to calm down, he can’t sit still with this amount of stress. Was there anything he did differently? He has called Jason adorable before. And he said things he loves about Jason’s personality many times before. He is pretty sure he has called him baby at some point. Nothing makes sense and he presses Jason’s user again and again, without success.  
Finally, after what feels like days, Jason picks up. Relief washes over him.  
“Jason! Shit, I’m sorry! I was so worried. What did I do wrong? Please forgive me, and I will never do it again! Fuck, I’m so fucking sorry, Jason!” he rushes out, probably sounding insane.  
_ “No, it’s fine, really.”  
_ “You wouldn’t react like that if everything was fine. Please, enlighten me. I want to make you feel safe and loved.” Seyoon feels desperate to comfort him. And suddenly, Jason starts talking. He is pouring out everything, trusting Seyoon with so many secrets he is sure has never been spoken out loud before. Seyoon winces when Jason describes how his old regulars talked to him, what they would say or do and he finally understands. Baby. That word is something that scares Jason.  
“I- I honestly don’t know what to say. I’m sorry.” Seyoon says after nearly an hour of interrupted talking from Jason.  
_ “It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything. Just the fact that you even bothered to listen means the world to me.”  
_ “Of course I want to listen. You are so important to me. All I ever want is for you to feel good. And I will never say that word again.”  
_ “No, I don’t want to assume that word with them. We can try it, I will let you know if it’s too much.”  
_ “Only if you’re sure.”  
_ “Yes. Kisses?”  
_ “Kisses.”

  
  


☆

  
  


“I hate that I won’t be your roomie anymore!” Junhee complains loudly when they pack their things. “It sucks that they switch every year.”  
“I know, what if my new roommate is an asshole?”  
“Everybody is an asshole if you compare them to such a great roommate like me.” Junhee snorts a laugh.  
“Yeah, because finding dirty dishes like an easter hunt is what I will miss the most about you.” Seyoon retorts. “Hey, get your ass moving, the ones who will take over this room will arrive any minute and you shouldn’t scar them with you in just boxers!”  
“I’m a sight to behold, you can ask anybody!” Junhee shouts, but saunters into his room nonetheless.  
It takes a few more minutes of packing the last things before they can finally hand over the keys to the other students and venture towards their new dorms.  
“I will see you on the other side, brother!” Junhee sighs dramatically and blows a kiss towards Seyoon, who catches it in his palm.  
0523\. It’s the one furthest off on campus. Close to the woods, and the playground. Maybe Seyoon’s new roommate won’t oppose to hanging out there during lazy afternoons and swing? He hopes not.  
He is just done settling in the new dorm when there is a knock on the door. The knowledge that it might be his new roomie makes him nervous. He scurries quickly to open, and is met by bright orange hair and big, slanted eyes. The boy meeting his gaze is about an inch shorter than him, with light brown eyes and plush lips. He looks like he has seen a ghost.  
“Hi, you must be my new roommate? I’m Seyoon!” he scrambles out, trying to collect his racing mind. The boy in front of him is exactly what Seyoon pictured Jason to look like.

  
  


☆


	5. New routines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seyoon has to keep Jason a secret from Byeongkwan, so he has to change the routine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took forever to write fml kjnjjn  
> Kwannies pov is also up!!

☆

  
  


Impossible. There is no way in hell that this is Jason. He has no grounds for his reasoning, but he just can’t live here  _ if  _ this is Jason. Who has that kind of hair? A lot of people. Seyoon has never seen that hair color before. It’s a common hair color. No, it’s not. He is pretty sure he saw a girl one time who had that kind of orange. He has to say something more, but what?  
“I love your hair!” he blurts out, too loudly. The boy looks embarrassed, averting his gaze a bit. Another Oscar for this beautifully awkward conversation goes to Kim Seyoon.  
“I’m Byeongkwan.”  
Byeongkwan. That is not even close to Jason. But the voice. It’s a bit similar. But not quite. Of course it can be different through phone speakers. But Seyoon isn’t sure.  
“Wanna come in?” Seyoon tries, and it’s the dumbest question. But he can’t think straight with Byeongkwan in front of him, with his orange hair and sweet voice. He feels sweaty.  
“I mean I am supposed to live here so coming inside would be a great start.” Byeongkwan answers, and it makes Seyoon giggle, this boy has some humour.  
“True. Let me show you around, Byeongkwan.” he says and steps aside, letting the younger inside. He starts walking them inside the building, showing him the kitchen first since it’s the closest to the door.  
“So in there is the kitchen. It’s really small and my old roommate took the toaster so we have to get a new one or fight him for it.”  
Stupid Junhee. Seyoon eats more toast than him anyways, why did he insist on taking that toaster?  
“And there is the bathroom. We don’t have a bathtub so I hope that is okay. None of the rooms have them though so switching rooms isn’t gonna help.” he continues, not knowing why he is trying to convince Byeongkwan to not move. But here he is, doing just that.  
“And here are the two bedrooms. I picked the one to the left but we can switch if you want to!”  
“No, no it’s fine, Seyoon-hyung.” Byeongkwan seems calm, and it riles Seyoon up even more. If this is Jason he should be as freaked out as Seyoon right now. But maybe that is why he isn’t freaked out. Because this isn’t Jason.  
“I know it’s small but mine is the same, so it’s okay I hope.” he excuses the size once again, nervous that Byeongkwan won’t like it. He isn’t sure what the other is used to. Byeongkwan leaps into his room and flops down on his bed with a bright smile. Seyoon’s knees feel weak. He is so fucking adorable.  
“This is really nice. Thank you.”  
“We have a living room aswell! Come!” Seyoon rushes out, not knowing how to act when the younger looks at him like that. Byeongkwan follows him and looks around, seeming content. And still, Seyoon is nervous that he won’t like it.  
“So I know it’s not much, but it’s pretty nice. And the walls are thick so we won’t hear our neighbors or so.”  
“Honestly, I’m happy. It feels cozy when it’s not too spacious!”  
His voice is so nice. It’s hard to not think of Jason with this cute boy in front of him, looking and sounding very similar to the phone sex operator Seyoon is crushing on.  
“I will let you settle, maybe then we can eat lunch of something?” he asks shyly. Byeongkwan nods happily, and Seyoon leaves him to go sit on his bed for a while, digesting everything.  
Everything is so much, and he feels guilty for being so affected by Byeongkwan. He stares at the wall for a few minutes, trying to calm down. Then his phone notifies him of a new message, interrupting his thoughts. He picks it up and checks Junhee’s message. He has apparently gotten takeout, and Seyoon has no time to answer until there is a quick knock at the front door.  
Junhee barges in, hands full of bags.   
"I figured I might aswell come over immediately! I wanna meet your roommate." he says with a big smile.  
"Yeah, I just have to ask him if that is okay for him. He seems shy, like me."  
"Aaaaw. Angel, always so considerate. Go ask him!"  
Seyoon wanders over to Byeongkwan’s door, and knocks quietly.  
“Yes, it’s open!” he hears the other call through the small crack that is open.  
“My best friend just came by with lunch, it’s takeout. Do you feel comfortable with him joining us for lunch?” he asks, and Byeongkwan smiles big at him.  
“Of course, that would be lovely. I’m coming in a second.”  
Seyoon pads to the living room where Junhee is situated and helps unpack the boxes.  
“Just please don’t embarrass me. He is really cute.” Seyoon whispers and Junhee nods quickly.  
“Why would I embarrass y-” he cuts himself off, staring at where Byeongkwan emerged just now.  
“Junhee?”   
“Kwan? Oh my god!”  
Seyoon doesn’t understand. Have they met before? They’re not friends, otherwise Junhee would have told him. And they seem surprised to see each other in this environment. But when could they have met? Junhee and Seyoon hang out mostly together or with Donghun. Seyoon can’t for his life remember ever seeing Byeongkwan. He would never forget such a beautiful face.  
“Do you know each other?”  
Junhee gives him a look, and a strange noise that makes him sound like he is about to have a heart attack.  
“ _ This _ ! This is the boy! It’s him!”  
Seyoon feels himself turn pale. This is the boy with the hair color Seyoon likes that Junhee found at that party. The boy who Junhee said was perfect for him. Junhee turns towards Byeongkwan excitedly.  
“Kwan! This is the best friend I told you about the night we met. Oh my God! This is insane! The universe really be out there planning shit!”  
And it looks like Byeongkwan realizes in that moment who Seyoon is. Shit, oh fuck. God damn Junhee and his big mouth. Byeongkwan blushes furiously and hides in his hands, and Seyoon just stares at the food. He feels very uncomfortable. This will be hard to work around. Trying to become friends with this crazy coincidence looming over them feels heavy. And Seyoon had been so happy that they have gotten along so well so far.  
“Let’s just- uh- eat?”  
“Yes, come sit down, Kwannie!” Junhee pats the seat next to him. “Yoonie won’t bite you.”  
Seyoon wants to disappear. This is exactly what he meant when he asked Junhee to not embarrass him. But they are so far beyond that point so some extra humiliation won’t matter.  
Byeongkwan tiptoes and sits down where Junhee patted.  
“Let’s not make it awkward! I’ve been meaning to introduce you two anyways. But this is way more fun than just the regular way!”  
Seyoon is mortified. That’s it. He is giving up his dreams of becoming a professional dancer. He can permanently change his name to Kurt and move to Sweden. He has heard good things about Sweden.  
Both him and Byeongkwan stay silent during the entire meal, but Junhee is too busy blabbering about this funny coincidence to notice. When they finally have suffered through this damn lunch, Seyoon picks up all the boxes and hurries to the kitchen. There is a shuffle behind him, and when he turns around he sees Byeongkwan standing there, tugging at the sleeves of his sweater.  
“So- uh- that was- very awkward-” he stutters, and Seyoon nods. “But I hope we can- uh- be friends any-anyways?”  
“Yes, please. I would- uh- love that!” Seyoon says quickly, just as flustered as Byeongkwan seems to be. That causes Byeongkwan to smile widely, eyes squinting.  
“Great. I have to continue getting settled in my room. What are you doing tonight?”  
Seyoon panics a bit. He can’t be around here to call Jason. He has to come up with a quick plan since Byeongkwan will be unpacking here.  
“Uh, I’ll meet with some friends later. Maybe go to the arcade or something.”  
“Ah, so I will see you before bed time?”  
“Yeah, I will be home by then.”  
“Okay.” Byeongkwan says. There is an awkward pause. “I will- I will see you then, I guess?”  
“Yeah, see you later.” Seyoon mumbles. Byeongkwan dips his head politely, and then he is gone. Fuck. Where the hell will he go to be able to talk to Jason?

  
  
  


☆

  
  


As soon as Junhee leaves their dorm, Seyoon hurries to put on some decent clothes. He at least has to look like he is going to meet some friends. So a pair of ripped jeans with a black button down will do for his fake arcade hangout. It’s 6.44pm which leaves him with a good amount of time to find a secluded place. He is planning to go to the main building to see if the resting rooms are open. They can be locked and are sound proof. Wow, he is really acting like a horny teen. Which he is. But to go to these lengths for a phone call? Pathetic. One last look in the mirror before he pockets his phone and key card. He knocks on Byeongkwan’s door.  
“Yeah, hyung?”  
“I’m going out now. I will be back later.”  
“Have fun!” comes Byeongkwan’s muffled voice through the door.  
“You too!” Seyoon says, and pinches his nose. Byeongkwan will be unpacking. That is not fun. Why is he like this? He makes quick work to put on his shoes and then he rushes out towards the main building.  
Fortunately the rooms are still open, and he picks the one furthest away from the entrance, steps inside and locks the door. 6.56pm. Phew.  
He sits down on the couch, trying to make himself comfortable. It’s a bit weird not being in your own bed, but this will do.  
When the dot turns green, Seyoon clicks and the call connects.  
“Hi baby.” he tries, since Jason said he wanted to associate the pet name with something good. There is a faint gasp before Jason answers.  
_ “Hi. I liked that. It didn’t feel too scary. I heard it was you.”  
_ “How are you?”  
_ “I’m great. I just got to the new campus, and my roommate is so nice. I hope we will be good friends. It feels like we will get along. How was your day?”  
_ “It was really nice aswell. But I thought a lot about you.” Seyoon admits, because he has been thinking an awful lot about Jason. Byeongkwan’s hair has that effect on him.  
_ “I would talk more about my day, but I’ve been waiting for this call for hours. I’m in such a good mood and I would really wanna try something new with you.”  
_ Seyoon can hear the smirk through the phone, and his dick twitches with excitement.  
“And what do you wanna try, baby?”  
_ “You know what you said during our first call?”  
_ Seyoon tries to remember, but the only memory he has is feeling incredible. He can’t really recall what words have been spoken.  
_ “It’s okay. I remember. You said you wanted me to ride you. And we never did that.”  
_ Fuck. Okay.  
“Yeah?”  
_ “Yeah. And I’m already naked. So I hope you’re ready to prep me?”  
_ “More than ready.”  
Seyoon quickly unzips his fly and pushes his jeans and boxers off, freeing his dick. He has never gotten this hard this fast before. Maybe it’s because he didn’t expect this to happen so suddenly. But he can’t complain.  
_ “Fuck, I want you to start with just one finger, warm me up slowly.” _ Jason whispers, and Seyoon sucks his index finger into his mouth at the same time as a gasp leaves Jason’s mouth.  _ “Yes, just like that.”  
_ Seyoon wants to touch himself, but he also wants to be a bit realistic, and prepping someone is something that demands full attention. So he closes his eyes, and leaves his leaking cock alone while following Jason’s moans. They barely say anything, because there are no words to be said. He just sucks on his fingers, enjoying the sweet noises Jason makes, imagining his fingers being inside Jason’s ass instead of his own mouth.  
_ “Fu-uck, I’m- I think I’m ready-” _ Jason whines, and Seyoon jolts up.  
“Ah, ye-es, me too.” he says, voice husky after being silent for a few minutes with his fingers down his throat. He grabs his erection, feeling so insanely horny he can’t stop himself. “How many fingers are you using?”  
_ “T-two.”  
_ “I’m bigger than that, baby. Can you- can you try three?”  
There is a whimper, and Seyoon’s dick twitches in his palm. Fuck. Jason must be so tight if he sounds like that with three fingers. He has to force himself to not blackout. He can hear Jason panting, working himself open for Seyoon. Fuck, it’s so hot.  
_ “Oka-okay. I have- have three fingers no-now-” _ Jason’s voice sounds strained, like he is in pain.  
“Please relax for me, it will reduce the pain.”  
A beat of silence. Seyoon pumps himself very slowly, unable to hold still with the way Jason sounds. He imagines Jason in front of him, with his own three fingers knuckle deep inside of his tight ass, scissoring him open ever so gently.  
_ “Oh- you will feel so- fuck- so good in me-” _ he hears Jason moan.  _ “- please let me ride you-”  
_ “Come on then, baby. Let me hold you up steady.” Seyoon purrs, his eyes still closed. He creates a tight ring with his fingers, positioning it against his tip, thinking about lining himself up. “I’m gonna push in very slowly, okay?”  
Jason breathes heavily.  
_ “Okay.”  
_ He holds his fingers firmly locked as he presses down over the tip. Without the image in his head, it would be pretty lame, but what he sees for his inner eye creates such a vivid picture that he can feel Jason’s ass around his dick. He growls, it’s so much at the same time.  
“Kiss me.”  
_ “Yes- fuck- yes Wow-” _ Jason cries out. _ “- you feel so- it’s so much-”  
_ “Keep going, let my kisses take away the pain, baby.”  
Seyoon keeps pushing down until he reaches the base. He feels on fire, everything is so overwhelming. He tries calming down by feeling Jason’s lips on his, but it just adds to the insatiable hunger.  
“Can I move?” he breathes, hips stuttering on their own accord.  
“Please-”  
Seyoon strokes himself in one steady movement from base to tip and back down, keeping his palm squeezing tightly, trying to mimic the feeling of being inside of someone. It’s so crazy good, the saliva adding to the glide and making him lose his mind. He wants to see Jason on top of him, taking him all the way, his body is craving it.  
“Fuck, you’d look so beautiful on me- ah- right now-”  
_ “Yeah? Tell me- tell me more, Wow-” _ Jason begs, and Seyoon groans. Jason is so weak for praises. And Seyoon loves it.  
“I wanna touch your- fuck- skin, bite your neck- ah- mark you up-” Seyoon can barely talk properly, his head is spinning.  
_ “Fuck, I’m gon- I will cum untouched if you- fuck- keep this up-”  
_ Oh  _ shit _ . Seyoon almost cums from the thought alone. That would be the sexiest thing he would ever see.  
“Can you do that- for me, baby?”  
Jason doesn’t answer, which is fine, because honestly Seyoon would cum within a nano second if Jason said yes. “I would kill to see your pretty face right now-”  
He can paint Jason for his inner vision, face relaxed in total bliss as Seyoon fucks into him, moans spilling from his pretty lips.  
_ “Fuck me harder, please, Wow, I-”  
_ Seyoon is about to fucking lose it. He thrusts into his fist, desperate to make them both cum.  
_ “Can I- I’m so close, Wow-” _ Jason wails, begging, and Seyoon can’t hold back either.  
“Yes, please kitten- fuck- cum untouched for me- please baby-” he is cut off by Jason screaming out in pleasure, not sure if he himself makes any noise as his release lands on his exposed belly, hips jerking uncontrollably. Nobody has ever given him such memorable orgasms as Jason, and it’s almost scary.  
They lie in silence, catching their breaths together.  
_ “Fuck.”  
_ “Yeah. That was-” Seyoon says, and takes a deep breath. “- intense.”  
_ “I wanna cuddle.” _ Jason says, he sounds so sweet and needy. Seyoon’s heart hurts, he has to go back to the dorm. He suddenly realizes he won’t be able to talk for hours like they usually do.  
“I wish I could stay the night as always, but I have new living arrangements, and I won’t be able to talk like we usually do. I’m sorry baby.” he says quietly. Jason is silent for a while.  
_ “Oh- I see. Okay, Wow.” _ he finally says, sounding hurt and sad. Seyoon hangs his head, this sucks.  
“I’m sorry. I really am. I wanna stay too.”  
_ “We will have to manage. We can do that, right?” _ Jason sounds like he is trying to be positive.  
“Yeah, we can.” Seyoon assures him. He wants to make the situation better, and maybe a cute pet name could help? He wants to try. “Hey, Jason. Is it okay if I call you kitten?”  
_ “Of course. I would love that.” _ he answers, sounding happier.  
“Perfect. Good night, kitten. Talk tomorrow?”  
_ “Always. Kisses?”  
_ “Kisses.”  
And then he hangs up. It feels wrong to not continue to talk like they always do. But he can’t risking Byeongkwan know this. Not yet. He cleans himself up and fixes his clothes before he ventures back to the dorm.  
When he opens the door, Byeongkwan greets him.  
“Hi, hyung!” he yells from his room, voice wavering. He sounds upset.  
“Are you okay?” he asks as he gets closer to Byeongkwan’s room.  
“Yeah, super fine.” the younger answers as Seyoon opens the door. He looks broken, lashes clumped together by tears.  
“You do not sound fine. And you look sad.” he tries, wanting Byeongkwan to open up to him.  
“Ah, I just- I miss my mom. It’s my first time living without her.”  
Seyoon remembers how he felt moving out. It was scary as fuck. And to see the younger stand here, crying because he misses his mom, makes Seyoon’s heart twist. He hold his arms out, silently saying that he has unlimited hugs to share. Byeongkwan’s lips curve upwards, and then he accepts, snuggling into Seyoon’s embrace.  
“It’s okay. I know how it felt the first night living here. It’s always weird moving out. Do you want some tea?” he tries, Junhee always asks him that when he feels sad. And it seems to be working, because the shorter boy nods. And he feels a bit grateful for getting to take care of Byeongkwan. That way he won’t overthink how guilty he feels for not being able to talk to Jason like he always does. It’s a welcomed distraction.

  
  


☆

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope u liked this chapterrrrr!!!!  
> things are coming together uwu


	6. Ruining everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seyoon doesn't know how to help, and hates himself for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this will probably be maybe 8 chapters depending on how long i decide to make ch7 jsndjsnd  
> Kwans pov is also up, enjoy!!

☆

  
  


“It should be illegal to get up this early on the first day of school.” Seyoon mutters to his pillow as he drags himself up from his warm bed at six in the morning. He wants an extra thirty minutes to stretch and warm up before the other students, and prefers to do so alone. And managing to stomach breakfast aswell. So he needs all the time he can get.  
Without much thought, he pulls on a comfy hoodie and some loose joggers. They don’t match at all but that is not important. While stumbling out of his room he tries to tame his wild hair, to no avail. He groans, not in the mood to wet it but that is the only way. So off to the bathroom it is. He passes Byeongkwan’s door, and it’s open just a crack. It’s creepy, he knows, but he peeks inside to see the younger lie face down with the orange hair in every direction. It looks dumb, and Seyoon smiles. Adorable.  
After getting his hair to cooperate and brushing his teeth, he pads over to the kitchen to get some cereal or something as easy. He is in the mood for toast. But that damn toaster thief Junhee stole his breakfast option. So cereal it is.  
With breakfast out of the way and fully dressed in hideous but comfy clothes, he leaves, closing the door very quietly to not wake his roommate. He has no idea if he is a light sleeper or not yet. The sun is out, warming his skin as he walks over the yard all alone. No other student is awake as of now, and Seyoon values these calm moments. It soothes him, easing his mind from the stress of life. When he is inside of the practice room, he plugs his phone into the speakers and lets a random instrumental beat fill the air. He stretches carefully to the rhythm, slowly waking up his muscles. He might not be as flexible as some of the other students, but he is getting there. He has the determination and the talent, and to him, that matters more. Everything else will follow if he pursues it.  
He is almost done when a few of his classmates start rolling in, looking sleepy and not ready to dance their asses off. And then Mr. Son enters.  
“Good morning. I hope you all are well rested after the summer. I have a new choreography done. So get to stretching, you have ten minutes!”  
Seyoon gets to work immediately, finishing his warm up.

  
  


☆

  
  


Sitting down on the couch after three hours of intense dance practice feels like a blessing. And having an hour in between classes to just chill in the dorm just makes it better. Seyoon will not move a limb until absolutely necessary. He just drifts off for a few minutes, enjoying the peace and quiet. Until he needs water. So he gets up and wanders to the kitchen to fetch some. When he almost reaches the couch again, the door opens and shuts very quickly. He turns around to see Byeongkwan standing against the door, panting hard, eyes closed. His knees are wobbling, like he is tired from running.  
“Uh- hi?” Seyoon says, breaking the silence. Byeongkwan looks up, eyes wide in panic, gaze frantic. He probably didn’t expect Seyoon to be here, judging by his frazzled expression.  
“Hi. What are you doing here?” the younger blurts out.  
“I- uh- live here?” Seyoon cocks an eyebrow in amusement. “What are _you_ doing here? Don’t you have classes?”  
At that, the younger dashes into his room as soon as he has taken off his shoes. There is a quick rustle of his blanket, and Seyoon is sure he can hear him sniffling. Seyoon is at loss for words, he doesn’t know Byeongkwan well enough to just burst into the room and cuddle him until he laughs. He wants to help, but he has no idea how to console the younger boy. He toes to the door, and the muffled sobs physically hurts to hear.  
“Kwannie? Are you okay in there?” he says, as softly as he can.  
“Leave me alone.”  
Seyoon doesn’t want to leave him. Byeongkwan shouldn’t be alone right now. But there is nothing he can do. He doesn’t want to pry or corner his roommate, and so he sees no other way to help than to listen to what Byeongkwan wants. With his head hung low, he wanders into the living room again, plopping down on the couch and turns the TV on. That way Byeongkwan can get a bit of space and cry without having to choke down his sadness. Seyoon just waits, if Byeongkwan needs him, he will be right here.

  
  


☆

  
  


He is back in the resting room like yesterday, after telling Byeongkwan he is meeting up with friends again. He looks forward to escape reality a bit and talk to Jason. But when the younger picks up, he can hear a faint snivel through the speakers.  
“You sound upset. What happened baby?”  
Jason doesn’t answer immediately, he just breathes heavily.  
 _“I’m gonna be alone on campus.”  
_ “Why? Wasn’t your roommate really nice?”  
Seyoon will physically fight anyone who tries to make Jason feel sad.  
 _“Well, yeah. But he is gonna hate me soon. Everybody will hate me.”  
_ Seyoon doesn’t know what to say. He feels just as lost as when he tried to comfort Byeongkwan, and it makes him stressed. Why can’t he be helpful to anybody?  
“I don’t hate you.” he drones, very quietly.  
 _“My coworker is in my class. And he told a few other students that both of us are phone sex operators. And I- I wasn’t ready to share that yet. And soon the whole school will know and I will be alone.”  
_ Jason sounds desperate, and Seyoon wants nothing more than to soothe him.  
“I won’t leave.” he tries again, but it feels like the words don’t get through to Jason. He can’t reach him.  
 _“I’m scared. This can ruin my life. And I just got here-”_ Jason wails, his breath ragged. _“- why did I even take this stupid job?”  
_ Seyoon pauses. If it wasn’t for this job they would have never started talking. Seyoon wouldn’t change it for the world.  
“If you hadn’t, we would never have met.”  
 _“You don’t know that.”_ Jason snorts, but it has no bite.  
“Neither do you.” he concludes. Because none of them actually know if they would have met under any other circumstance. “For what it’s worth, I’m happy to have found you here. I’m so shy in real life, I would probably never have the guts to even look at you if we would have met at another place.”  
 _“I’m not that cute.”_ Jason says, and Seyoon can tell he is smiling.  
“No, you’re probably even cuter.” he coos, wanting to keep that smile on Jason’s lips in any way he can. If that is by being cheesy, then so be it.  
 _“Listen, Wow. I think my roommate got back, I have to go! I will try to get him out of the house for longer tomorrow, okay? I’m sorry!”_ the younger says suddenly, he sounds rushed. Seyoon’s heart sink, but he won’t let that be heard in his voice.  
“No, it’s fine. I get it. Stay safe, kitten. I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”  
 _“Yeah, definitely. Kisses?”  
_ “Kisses.” is the last thing he manages before they hang up. Then he sits there, staring at the wall. Until his phone beeps. A few times. He has missed calls from Junhee and a heap of texts. It has to be important, so Seyoon doesn’t bother to read the text, and calls his best friend instead.  
“Junnie?”  
 _“Where are you?”_ Junhee nearly yells, his voice high pitched like it is when he is stressed or running.  
“At the resting rooms. Number five.”  
 _“Okay. Stay there. I’m coming.”  
_ “I’m here.”  
He feels his heartbeat pick up, what riled Junhee up that much? He sounded close to a breakdown.  
A few minutes later, Junhee bangs on the door until Seyoon opens. He rushes inside, both hands full with soju.  
“Where did you get that?”  
“My new roommate got contacts. It doesn’t matter. Sit down. We need to be at least one bottle in before I can even comprehend what is happening right now.”  
Seyoon doesn’t ask any more questions, and takes the bottle Junhee hands him. It’s strong, and Seyoon winces. He hasn’t eaten enough to stomach this, but it’s too late now. After only half a bottle he starts to feel the effects, the edges of his mind turns fuzzy.  
“Minji wants to break up with me.” Junhee says with a heavy sigh and takes another, long swig of his soju. “What did I do wrong?”  
Seyoon shushes him, he is not going down that self destructive road tonight.  
“Did she say why?”  
Junhee shakes his head. He sobs, and clings onto Seyoon’s shirt.  
“I’m too much. I’m so much- I don’t know! I just know she is the best thing that has ever happened to me and now-” he looks up at Seyoon, eyes glossy and swollen. “- she never loved me, did she? Only you and Donghun love me. I’m unlovable!”  
“Hush, angel.” Seyoon whispers, stroking Junhee’s head. And then they sit in silence, hugging and drinking. Seyoon has no idea for how long, he just knows that after four bottles he is close to a blackout. His head is mushy, he can’t think properly and Junhee is all over him, desperate to be loved. His hands are everywhere, his mouth kiss and suck and bite on Seyoon’s exposed skin. He is crossing the line he himself set up as he straddles Seyoon, grinding down on his crotch, broken moans spilling from his lips. Seyoon should stop him, but he loves Junhee and is incapable of denying him anything in this moment. Even if he knows this is the exact moment he _should_ deny him. They shouldn’t do this. He should hold Junhee until he falls asleep, not let his hands wander and unzip his fly. He should whisper how beautiful Junhee is and that he is special, not moan when his hand grabs Seyoon’s cock. He should cover Junhee in a warm blanket when he finally has fallen asleep in his lap, not cover his face in cum, whimpering his name.  
When he is on his way back to the dorm, he tries convincing himself that he told Junhee several times to think if he really wanted to do this. And Junhee said he did. Seyoon wishes he could say he was rational, and stopped his friend anyways. But his body betrayed him, even though Junhee said he wanted this and only this. He can’t help feeling like he used his friend in a vulnerable situation, regardless if Junhee wanted it or not. He should have been the hyung. He is supposed to take care of his best friend.  
He almost falls through the door, making too much noise.  
“Hyung?”  
God fucking damn it. He woke up Byeongkwan.  
“Yeah?”  
“Are you alright?”  
His head is still spinning, and his stupid drunk brain says it’s a really good idea to go to Byeongkwan’s room. He feels like a predator when he swings the door open, flashing the younger a smile as he stands in the doorway.  
“Hi.”  
“Are you drunk?”  
Seyoon nods, very slowly. Byeongkwan’s voice is so beautiful. He has to come closer.  
“Can I sit?” he asks, but without waiting for an answer. He sits down on the edge. There is the smallest rational sliver left of his composure, and he sees that Byeongkwan shifts uncomfortably, looking at him with wide eyes, breaths shallow. He has to stop. He is ruining everything. But he is drunk, and he already ruined his best friendship. So his destructive self hatred tells him to just ruin what’s left, it’s better like that.  
“I shouldn’t do this. But-” he starts, he can see Byeongkwan trying to understand what he means. And then he just surges forward, slotting his lips with the younger. His mind is blank, and he briefly wonders if he will remember this in the morning. Byeongkwan doesn’t kiss him back, and pulls away after a few seconds. His gaze is wild, eyes staring at Seyoon, as he touches his lips with his fingers. Seyoon panics.  
“I- fuck- I have to go-” he hisses, and basically runs to his room, locking the door. When he is alone, he sinks down, back against the door. He wants to cry. But he can’t. He has no right to cry, because he is the bad guy. And then he cries anyway.

  
  


☆

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope u enjoy the angst because im incapable of not writing it


	7. Inevitable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seyoon bonds with his roommate, and it's messy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jnefnelfnalknlakf i hope u love this.  
> Kwannie pov also up!!!!!

☆

  
  


The knock on the door is what wakes him up, it’s so soft and careful, it has to be his roommate. His head is pounding. He is unable to remember last night. He can barely memorize how the fuck he got home. What happened to Junhee? He just knows they hugged, and kissed, like they always do when Junhee gets drunk. It’s so blurry and impossible to distinguish after that.  
“Hyung? Please open the door.”  
It’s Byeongkwan’s voice, ever so soft and his heart twists. He turns around, grunting as he does, because his head hurts. He tries to get his body to cooperate and get up, everything feels heavy and he just wants to die. But after what feels like forever, he manages to get up, stumbling to the door and unlocking it. Byeongkwan stands on the other side of the threshold, looking super awake and fresh and so fucking adorable.  
“I- uh- I made breakfast?” the younger says, more like a question. Seyoon looks down to his hands and wants to die. He actually made him breakfast. Seyoon can’t for the life of him feel deserving of such kindness, and yet, here Byeongkwan stands, holding a tray with a steaming bowl of rice and some tea.  
“You shouldn’t have.” he mutters, hiding his face in his hands. Because really, he doesn’t deserve this. He might have blacked out yesterday, but he is not deserving of such kind gestures. Regardless of what happened last night.  
“I figured you might- uh- feel hungover. So I wanted to help?” Byeongkwan whispers, and it physically hurts to see this beautiful man in front of him offering him breakfast just like they had known each other forever. Seyoon feels a slight panic rise, he thought he was so smooth coming back to the dorms, but maybe not?  
“How did you know I’d be hungover?” he asks, voice sounding unusually high pitched.  
“You came home pretty late and seemed drunk when you said goodnight to me.” the younger says, and Seyoon face palms because he can’t ever keep quiet when he has to. He probably woke Byeongkwan up just to say goodnight because his stupid drunk brain thought that would be a splendid idea.  
“I’m sorry, Kwannie.” he apologizes, feeling so incredibly stupid. He wants to explain why he was drunk and the words just roll off his tongue without a second thought. “I hope I didn’t fuck up anything major. I had a bit too much to drink, Junhee gave me tons of soju while I tried comforting him, because he and Min-”  
“It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me. Here, please eat.” Byeongkwan cuts him off, and pushes the tray into his hands. Seyoon scolds himself for almost spilling a secret that wasn’t even his, and is so grateful for Byeongkwan to sense that it wasn’t the time or place to share this. He strokes the short hairs at his nape awkwardly, accepting the tray handed to him.  
“Really, thank you. I don’t deserve this, but I’m grateful that you went out of your way to make it.” he mumbles, trying to sound sincere even though he just wants to disappear.  
“It wasn’t a problem. If you feel better later I thought- uh- maybe you wanted to- uh- wanted to dance together? Just for a while? I’m free from 1pm.” the younger suggests, and Seyoon’s heart skips a beat. Dancing? Together? He hasn’t been dancing with anybody in private in forever. He feels light as he answers, his happiness probably sensible through his words.  
“I would love that. I have this new song I’ve wanted to freestyle to for a long time! Meet me at 1.30pm outside of the main building?” he answers immediately, and Byeongkwan nods vigorously before leaving to get ready for classes.  
Fortunately, Seyoon has the day off. So he takes his sweet time, eating the rice Byoengkwan made. It’s a bit too sweet for his taste, but it’s doing wonders for his hangover, and as he downs his tea, he already feels much better.  
He jumps in the shower, getting all fresh and clean and rinses his shame from yesterday even if he doesn’t know what it might be. But it’s a new day, and yesterday can’t possibly have been that bad if Junhee hasn’t cursed him out and Byeongkwan made him breakfast.

  
  


☆

  
  


Waiting for 1.30pm to come around feels like forever, but he doesn’t want to hang outside on campus looking lost, so he waits until the very last moment to leave. He will still be early, but not twenty minutes early.  
He almost jumps all the way to the main building, and his heart flutters seeing Byeongkwan already waiting. He looks so adorably soft in his ripped jeans and loose crop top. Seyoon is pretty sure he can see a longer shirt underneath his top, preventing him from showing too much skin, but nonetheless it’s a fucking crop top.  
“Hi.” he says, a bit too stiffly, as he reaches the younger boy.  
“Hi there.” Byeongkwan says, his face dusted in a warm pink color.  
“Ready to go?” Seyoon asks, motioning for them to move towards the building that holds the practice rooms.  
“Absolutely. It feels like I haven’t danced properly in years.” Byeongkwan perks up, he is glowing in the warm sunlight. Seyoon can’t help the grin taking over his features, Byeongkwan is so beautiful it hurts to breathe.  
“Have you ever been to the practice rooms?” he questions, knowing the answer already. The teachers have the habit to not show their students around campus properly, leaving them confused at first and them overwhelmed by the standards of the facilities. It is a subtle marketing trick, and it works wonders. Always keeps the newly applied juveniles excited for what’s to come. And as he expected, Byeongkwan shakes his head, seeming interested and curious.  
“You’re in for a treat. It really lives up to what people say about it. The school that is.” he smirks, quickly smoothing over what might have been sounding like a suggestive comment. His brain really wanted him to screw this up, huh?  
They walk in silence for a few beats, before they reach the doors the teachers use to get into the practice rooms. Byeongkwan looks at him curiously as he punches in the code to unlock the door, and he feels the need to protect Mr. Son from any rumours.  
“Yeah, I know I’m probably not supposed to know the code. But Hyunwoo- I mean- uh- Mr. Son trusted me with it since he saw my potential and determination so I can come here whenever I want.” he excuses, and Byeongkwan looks at him with big eyes. Seyoon knows a teacher shouldn’t pick favorites, but he and Mr. Son had such a great vibe, it was hard to not become friendly with his dance teacher.  
He strides over to the furthest corner of the room, where he can plug in his phone to have some music to dance to, when he notices Byeongkwan is still standing, unmoving, at the threshold.  
“Do you wanna use my phone or yours?” he asks loudly as he dumps his bag on the floor with a thump, and Byeongkwan scrambles over to him in a hurry.  
“Yours is fine, I have no suggestions of songs to dance to anyways.” the younger student says as he drops his bag next to Seyoon’s. Seyoon huffs out a laugh and presses play to his usual list of instrumental beats he uses to stretch and warm up.  
“How about we start stretching?” he murmurs, a smirk playing on his lips as he lowers his torso down towards the ground, stretching slowly. He can hear Byeongkwan scurry to start his routine, and it’s so cute how eager the younger is to follow his lead.  
The silence is comfortable as they ease their muscles into the familiarity of being used for dancing, every move becoming more fluent as the beat goes on. Seyoon lets his mind go blank as he allows his body to move on its own accords, following the usual routine he has set up for himself. He feels so at ease next to Byeongkwan, like they’ve been doing this forever. He feels done after about thirty minutes, and straightens his spine to look at the younger, still going. He can’t take his eyes off him, he looks mesmerizing as he touches the floor with his fingertips, face pulled into an expression of total tranquility. Before he can get too deep into his thoughts, he lowers the volume, and Byeongkwan looks up, seemingly forgetting where he is for a second. It’s utterly endearing.  
“We have been stretching for over half an hour. Why don’t you show me what you’ve got?” Seyoon teases, a cocky grin spread across his features as he plays another song, this time with a tight beat and precise vocals. Byeongkwan’s body is immediately on board, and Seyoon watches as he transforms from a shy teenager to a confident dancer, way beyond his years. His chin drops to the floor, he has never seen a first year student being so smooth while executing his moves. He looks like he was made for this, his body fluent and in tune with his whole being. Seyoon feels bewitched, unable to tear his gaze from the younger male. Eventually, he has to, as the music fades and he pauses.  
Byeongkwan seemingly returns to his senses, once again getting a soft demeanour over him, his aura so innocent like he haven’t been performing crazy sensual hip thrusts only moments before. Seyoon doesn’t know what do say.  
“If I knew you’d be this good I’d never agree to freestyle with you. Oh my God, Kwannie. You are- I’m- you’re amazing. I’ve never seen anything like this before. Wow.” he finally bursts out. Byeongkwan flushes scarlet as his praise, hiding behind his hands.  
“I’m really not- uh- that good. But thank you.” he drones quietly, face still hidden.  
“You really are, though. I can’t believe you’re not a professional already. Oh jeez. I have to warn Mr. Son about you, or he will lose his marbles aswell.” Seyoon can’t help the worship spilling from his lips. He is so overwhelmed by the raw talent Byeongkwan possesses.  
“Please, don’t praise me like this. It makes me a bit uncomfortable. Lets just- uh- go through a choreo together? Please?” Byeongkwan mumbles, very affected by the praise. Seyoon wants to keep complimenting him, but seeing Byeongkwan turn a bit uncomfortable brings his senses back to him, and he suggests trying a choreo they learned it his first year.

  
  


☆

  
  


He hasn’t ever felt so at ease dancing with another student. Their senses being so perfectly aligned they hadn’t even needed to communicate with words. Seyoon’s mind is blown away by the way they have connected through dance, and he can’t help but feel a pang of guilt towards Jason. He has felt so incredibly close to the phone sex operator, but this,  _ this  _ is probably what makes people believe in real love. He has never been so captured by someone before, and it scares him a bit. Is this was Junhee talked about, when he said there are people in the real world who can make him feel certain things?  
“Mr. Son will be so impressed that you already know the choreography for your first lesson.” he finally breathes, panting roughly, the sound bouncing off the walls in the big room.  
“I hope so.” Byeongkwan says with a timid giggle, his voice strained from the intense workout. “Can we do this again sometime soon?”  
Seyoon’s soul soars at the possibility. It feels amazing to have someone who shares this intense love for dancing.  
“Please. I’ve never had any friend that dances like me. It would make me the happiest person alive to keep practising with you, Kwannie.”

  
  


☆

  
  


“I’m so sorry about yesterday, Yoonie-hyung. I never meant for it to go this far. Will you forgive me?” Junhee pleads as they sit with their ramyun in Junhee’s dorm.  
“If I’m being completely honest, I have a very vague memory of what happened last night. So, if you wanna- I don’t know- forget it, then I’m- uh- game?” Seyoon whispers after he swallows the mouthful of noodles he shoved in his mouth as Junhee began apologizing.  
“Yes. Oh God. I was so scared for you to just dump me, I love you so much and I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m so happy you don’t hate me!” the younger exclaims loudly and clings onto Seyoon’s shoulder, kissing his neck. Seyoon giggles. How could he ever ditch Junhee? The one who has been with him through thick and thin, never leaving his side? Him and Donghun was the only reason he made it through school, keeping him company and reassuring him the other kids were just dumb when they tried teasing him.  
“You’re my angel, how could I ever dump you, silly?” he says with a big grin, poking Junhee’s cheek with his chopsticks. Junhee shrieks, trying to get away from the sloppy ramyun that threatens to land in his lap. They keep laughing until there is no more food left, the noodles that didn’t make it into their bellies being all over the floor.  
“So, we’re good?” Junhee finally asks, gaze searching for Seyoon’s, uncertain and scared.  
“Of course. I’ll always be here.” he nods, and Junhee smiles wide, his perfect teeth splitting his face with happiness. “I have to go now, though. Jason is waiting.”  
“But you didn’t even tell me about the dance practice you and Kwan had!” Junhee pouts while crossing his arms over his chest.  
“I promise I will tell you tomorrow.” Seyoon promises, gathering the boxes before booping Junhee’s nose. “I’m running out of time though, we always talk at 7pm and I have to get to the resting rooms.”  
Junhee looks at him, questioningly, a smirk playing at the corner of his lips.  
“Yeah, I haven’t told Byeongkwan anything. Don’t scold me. I will. It’s just- we have gotten along so well and I don’t know- I’m afraid to tell him about this.”  
“Are you two having a little fling?” Junhee asks, eyes twinkling with excitement. Seyoon blushes, and refuses to answer.  
“I have to go. I will see you tomorrow, Junnie.”  
“Good night, angel!” Junhee beams, seemingly satisfied with his prediction.  
As soon as Seyoon enters the dorm, however, he is met by a very upset roommate, shoving a picture in his face he would want to explain before Byeongkwan ever saw it.  
“You fucking  _ lied  _ to me.” the younger hisses, and Seyoon’s heart stops.

☆

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DONT HATE ME THE FLUFF WILL CUM


	8. Painfully obvious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seyoon finally understands, but getting Byeongkwan to listen seems impossible. Until the evidence is right there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so the final chapter!!!!  
> I CANT BELIEVE IT  
> oh god  
> first of all, i sincerely do apologize for taking so long but my laptop got stolen ON TOP of my major writing blockage so that was great.  
> but i fixed everything even though im brokokoro now.  
> this fic has been a long ass ride, and i have appreciated every comment and bookmark and kudos u have sent my way. forever grateful to all of u for making this story my most successful one to date.  
> this is a pretty massive chapter, landing at around 5.5k words each, so i hope u love the finale of Callin'.  
> go out with a bang. literally. ksjsksks  
> also last "warning", but this chapter is basically 2k words of realization, 3.5k words of pure filth a tiny bit of fluffy epilogue.  
> Kwannies pov is up aswell!

☆

  
  


He can’t believe what he is hearing or seeing. How did Byeongkwan find the picture of Jason? He curses himself out for being so careless, he should have hidden the drawing. It looks horrible now, Seyoon gets that. Even though that isn’t Byeongkwan, he can understand why the younger would think so. He has to explain somehow.  
“I didn’t- Byeongkwan, you don’t understand, that isn’t- I never lied! I know how it looks, but if you just listen to me-” his voice is choked. “- that isn’t you. It’s someone else!”  
Byeongkwan looks so upset, tears rolling down his soft cheeks. It physically breaks Seyoon’s soul to know he caused this distress.  
“What do you mean ‘it’s someone else’? This is me. You heard the rumors, and instead of talking to me you went behind my back? How dare you?”  
Seyoon doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t understand. Rumors? He hasn’t heard anything from anybody. And nothing makes sense, because the drawing is months old. Long before Seyoon even knew Byeongkwan existed. It’s the craziest coincidence, but that is all it is. Somewhere in his mind though, the small voice still lingers. _Have you ever considered that Byeongkwan and Jason is the same person?_ Of course he has thought about it, but it couldn’t be. Byeongkwan would have told him. Right? He is snapped back to reality when Byeongkwan speaks up again.  
“I just- do you even understand how I feel? I trusted that you would talk to me if you heard the rumors before I got the guts to tell you myself. And instead you sneak behind my back, drawing me and I don’t even want to know what you have thought of me when you found out what I do. I’ve heard it before, suddenly I’m not a person anymore, I’m a toy, an object. And you’re the last one I’d ever imagine to be that kind of person. But I guess I was wrong.”  
Seyoon panics. He can’t let Byeongkwan think he is such a cruel human being.  
“Byeongkwan, please- I- you got it all wrong!” he yells out.  
“Save your breath, I don’t wanna hear it.” the younger says, crumpling Seyoon’s favorite drawing into a ball in his fist. As it falls to the floor, so does Seyoon’s heart. It hurts. So much. He must explain this further, this is not how their friendship is supposed to turn out.  
“Byeongkwan, please listen to me!” he whimpers, rushing to catch Byeongkwan by the wrist as he tries to run away.  
“Let me go.” Byeongkwan snaps, turning his head to face Seyoon, gaze on fire.  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I haven’t heard any rumors. I swear. I drew that a long time ago. Before I even met you.”  
It is clear that Byeongkwan does not believe him, if his facial expression is anything to go by, and Seyoon can’t blame him. This all sounds preposterous.  
“That is impossible. There is no way you could have known what I look like, and the name I’m using when I’m working. I don’t believe you.”  
The name he uses when he is working. The _name_ . Seyoon’s blood slows down, he feels himself rushing towards a panic attack. No, no, no. Is it? He throws his unoccupied hand up in the air.  
“Why would I- Byeongkwan-” he takes a breath. “- can you tell me exactly what the rumor is? Because I haven’t heard anything.”  
He has to hear it from Byeongkwan. Maybe then he can actually believe what his brain has already been telling him.  
“Why don’t _you_ tell _me_ ? Cut the bullshit, hyung.” Byeongkwan snorts. He looks angry. Seyoon says nothing. His throat is dry, his head is spinning, he can’t feel his face. He tries conveying the silent plea through his gaze, which earns him an exaggerated eye roll. Byeongkwan looks nervous, and then he breathes deeply.  
“I-” the younger starts, gaze flickering around on everything except Seyoon. It’s nerve wracking, the silence stretches for way too long and Seyoon holds his breath out of sheer panic. And then he picks up where he left off. “I work as a- as a phone sex operator. At night.”  
Seyoon lets go of Byeongkwan’s wrist, his world spinning around him. He tries speaking, but finds himself tongue tied. In a desperate attempt to force any sound past his lips, he opens his mouth and then closes it a few times, without any success. After what feels like hours he is able to find his voice.  
“You’re- wait- really?” he croaks out, mentally slapping himself because he can’t seem to remember how to form a sentence.  
“Yes. Really. Now it’s your turn. Admit that you already heard the rumors. I know you have. Anything else is impossible, it _has_ to be.”  
Seyoon’s brain is working overtime, he is sure there is smoke coming out of his nose. In a few minutes he will most probably experience a complete meltdown. So he has to ask Byeongkwan before he passes out.  
“You- you said your- the name you use while- uh- working is-”  
If Byeongkwan says Jason, Seyoon will actually die.  
“Jason.”  
Fucking hell. This can not be happening. But it is.  
“So, admit it.”  
Seyoon shakes his head in utter disbelief. How?  
“I didn’t- I haven’t heard the rumors. I promise.”  
Byeongkwan swallows audibly, eyes flickering around Seyoon’s features.  
“So then how- how _did_ you know?”  
It’s now or never. It all falls into place now. His hair. His voice. His beautiful eyes and plush lips. How they haven’t been in the dorm while the calls had taken place. Byeongkwan came clean. Seyoon owes him to do the same. So he tries.  
“I- we have- I’m- uh- this is- I am Wow.”  
Great, that sounded really smart. If the earth could swallow him whole now, please and thank you.  
Byeongkwan turns pale, he looks on the verge of passing out. Seyoon can almost hear the tornado inside the younger’s mind. Then, he suddenly laughs. A short, loud snort.  
“You’re Wow.” he says, like Seyoon would lie about this. It hurts and he struggles to keep his tears at bay.  
“I’m Wow.” he admits, cheeks hot with shame, head hanging low to avoid judgement.  
“Prove it.”  
What? He must have heard wrong. But Byeongkwan is staring him down, challenging him. So he quickly whips up his phone and unlocks it. With shaking fingers he clicks to the _Sinful tongues_ -app and opens it. A few more seconds of pressing the wrong buttons because his fucking hands won’t cooperate, and then he manages to open up his favorites. Jason’s name is the only user there, it looks pathetic. Seyoon’s whole account screams of insecurity. Nonetheless, he turns the screen towards Byeongkwan, expecting him to take his phone and crumple it like he did with Seyoon’s favorite drawing.  
But Byeongkwan doesn’t do that. He doesn’t even touch Seyoon’s phone. Instead, his jaw goes slack, eyes widening in horror. Seyoon pockets his phone again, shyly peeking at Byeongkwan.  
“Do you believe me now?” he asks, terrified of the answer.  
“No.” Byeongkwan whimpers, falling forward and crashing onto Seyoon’s chest. He has no idea what to do with his hands, so they just hang lifelessly by his side. What is going on? Byeongkwan has an iron grip around Seyoon’s neck, his heartbeat is as loud and erratic as Seyoon’s own. The younger breathes in deeply, as if trying to inhale all of Seyoon through his nostrils. It’s kind of cute. They stay like this for a couple of long minutes, Byeongkwan softly sniffing him while firmly holding onto his neck with stubborn arms. This is a lot for both of them to digest, and Seyoon is happy for getting a few minutes to sort his messy mind. He has finally, _finally_ , gotten to meet Jason. Someone who he has been pining over for weeks, months even. He smells like some childish apple shampoo and another, darker scent that Seyoon has never felt before, mostly because they have never hugged for this long before. A little spark awakens in his chest, started by that specific scent that must be Byeongkwan’s own. It’s dizzying, his pulse quickening instantly as he can merge Jason and Byeongkwan into one human being. The younger nuzzles his neck, a quiet sigh leaving his lips.  
“It _is_ you, isn’t it?”  
Seyoon can only nod, enjoying the way Byeongkwan’s bright hair tickles his cheeks as he does so.  
“I’m sorry, for- I’m- ” Byeongkwan stutters, not finishing the sentence. He retracts a bit, searching Seyoon’s gaze with something indescribable in his eyes. Seyoon is the one to break this silence.  
“Are you angry?”  
He has to know. Has he ruined everything? If he has, can he fix it? If he hasn’t, how do they go from here? Waiting for Byeongkwan’s answer is torture, but he doesn’t want to push him.  
“No. I get it. We both kept our secrets to protect ourselves.” he says at last, and Seyoon can’t help beaming at him, relief washing over him like a tsunami. There are no more lies between them. It’s just them. Him and Jason. Him and _Byeongkwan_ . The smile he gets back is blinding, cheeks scrunching up and gums on full display and Seyoon feels grateful that he isn’t covering his mouth. Grateful that he gets to see him so pure. His heart flutters, as he takes a step closer, for the first time being able to say their thing face to face. He has never wanted anything this much in his damn life.  
“Kisses?”  
Not even a second later, their noses are bumping. Seeing Byeongkwan’s eyes up close like this, full of life and sparkling, makes his knees weak. He is so whipped.  
“Kisses.”  
The last inch disappears between them, and Seyoon has never felt more alive. It’s like the ground dissipates underneath him, it almost burns wherever they touch. He licks at Byeongkwan’s lips, and the younger opens immediately, welcoming him with a quiet whine through his nostrils. Byeongkwan’s hands tangle in Seyoon’s hair, his fingers gently combing the black strands.  
Byeongkwan kisses him breathless, and it makes Seyoon feel like he has never been kissed before. Everything is new. He is soft and shy, demanding and desperate, and the concoction is nearly lethal, Seyoon can’t tell up from down any more. His mind is foggy when their lips disconnect, Byeongkwan’s eyes are hazy with lust, he has some drool on his swollen lips. Seyoon feels naked, like the younger can see his soul as he simultaneously shows Seyoon his own. His demand catches Seyoon off guard completely, he barely manages to stay on his feet.  
“Take me to a bed, please.”  
Seyoon hesitates, unsure if Byeongkwan has really thought this through. He doesn’t want to cross a line that will ruin all the wonderful progress.  
“Are you sure?” he has to ask. Byeongkwan nods without hesitation, quickly clambering into Seyoon’s embrace, snaking his arms around his neck and curls his legs around Seyoon’s waist. It is intoxicating, the way he is so eager. Seyoon decides to trust his judgement.  
“Okay, baby.” he murmurs seductively, setting off towards Byeongkwan’s bedroom. He gently places the younger onto the sheets, and watches as he obediently just lies on his back, allowing Seyoon to climb on top. He brushes their noses together, and Byeongkwan gets noticeably rigid. Seyoon tries kissing him, hoping to melt whatever fear that is manifesting inside the younger’s mind, but it doesn’t seem to work this time. Before he can ask what is wrong, he is being pushed off with surprising force. Byeongkwan looks at him, eyes wide and frightened like a deer in headlights.  
“I’m a virgin!” he yells, causing both of them to jump due to the sudden volume. Seyoon backs off as fast as he can, feeling stupid and predatory once more around Byeongkwan.  
“Shit, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t force myself onto you!” he apologizes quickly, but Byeongkwan manages to grab his wrist before he is too far away.  
“No, I want to do this. With you. It’s just- I thought you should know.” he says, looking sincere. Once again, Seyoon decides to take his word.  
“I will be careful. I promise.” he says quietly, because he would never dream of doing something without his consent, ever again.  
He gets back to kissing, because it’s safe. He can do that. They have kissed already, nothing scary here. Except it is, looming over his head. He wants to touch him, he is dying to put his hands all over Byeongkwan’s soft, unblemished skin. He has never wanted another human this badly in his entire life. But that is exactly what scares him. What if he loses control? What if he dirties Byeongkwan’s untainted body, or worse, his mind? Like his old clients. His heart breaks a bit more, now that he knows Byeongkwan has been a virgin this whole time. What if those bastards already destroyed this angel?  
He certainly doesn’t seem scared of Seyoon though, and he allows himself to find comfort in that. The more they make out, the bolder he gets. The affirmative little noises Byeongkwan makes spurs him on, making him grow bolder quickly and within minutes his hands are roaming all over Byeongkwan’s beautiful body. His heart is pumping so loud in his ears, and he can feel Byeongkwan’s pulse underneath his skin as the temperature rises between them.  
Suddenly there are hands grabbing his shirt, accompanied by small angry noises, making Seyoon snicker under his breath before throwing the shirt to a part of the room where he might never be able to retrieve it. And honestly, he can’t find it in himself to care.  
Byeongkwan eyes him up with a hunger Seyoon has never been on the receiving end of, and he blushes a little. Before he can get too uncomfortable under the burning gaze, he goes back down to lie on top of the younger, gently pushing against his heated skin, licking his collarbones.  
“Can I- am I allowed to undress you?” he asks, loving the way his voice makes Byeongkwan shiver and nod frantically. Seyoon almost rips the shirt off his lithe frame, so worked up that his hands are shaking. He has to take a second to take it all in, to make sure it is real. Byeongkwan’s lean, chiseled torso and abs. The soft, beautiful swell of his pecs, his small nipples and cute belly button. How?  
“Fucking gorgeous. You’re _unreal_ .” he all but moans, hands desperately grasping Byeongkwan’s waist, pulling him to straddle his lap. His whole body is flushed in a muted pink, blooming over his neck and chest. “So, so pretty for me, baby.”  
As soon as he praises Byeongkwan, he grinds down against Seyoon’s dick, which is almost fully hard at this point. He looks scared, but pushes his ass down once more on Seyoon’s crotch. He wants to assure Byeongkwan he is doing great, because he is, so he growls at the friction, grabbing his ass and pulling him closer.  
“Gosh, you’re such a tease.”  
It seems to boost his confidence, because he wiggles a bit, a cute smile on his lips.  
“And what are you gonna do about it?” Byeongkwan teases, leaning in to bite at Seyoon’s earlobe. It shoots straight to his dick, and he has to breathe in once to calm down and not rush into this. “I trust you to make us feel good, Wow.”  
Such a little brat, Seyoon should have known.  
“Please lay down, baby. On your back.”  
Byeongkwan scrambles to obey, managing to get out of his jeans aswell as his underwear. His urgency is adorable, Seyoon chokes a bit.  
“Eager?”  
“Very.”  
He is a bit embarrassed about how much his hands are shaking, but Byeongkwan seems every bit as nervous, so he convinces himself that it’s okay to be insecure. Especially with something so ethereal in front of him, begging for his attention. He smooths his hands over the younger’s thigh, inching closer to his erection quickly. Byeongkwan’s body convulses slightly, seeking for friction on its own accord. When Seyoon reaches his dick, he just hovers above it, anxious to be granted access. He doesn’t have to wait for long, and the second Byeongkwan nods, he closes his fist around him, holding firmly. Again, Byeongkwan bucks up against his fist, wordlessly telling him what he wants, and Seyoon complies. He looks so beautifully ruined already, Seyoon can’t help but to lean down and suck around the tip obscenely.  
“Fuck- Seyoon-” Byeongkwan wails, thrusting shallowly into his willing mouth. Seyoon swallows him all the way, keeping still for a split second and that is all it takes for Byeongkwan to spill down his throat. It’s the sexiest thing Seyoon has ever experienced, the fact that he can make Byeongkwan to feel so good. He senses the younger’s doubts though, so he quickly pulls off and surges forward to give him a messy kiss. Although surprised, he kisses Seyoon back eagerly, all tongue and teeth.  
“Fuck, that was hot. You taste amazing, Kwannie.”  
Byeongkwan stares at him incredulously, shocked even. Seyoon can’t fight the need to pet his cheeks.  
“Do you wanna stop here or go further?”  
A string of jerky nods is all the answer he is getting, causing him to snigger a bit.  
“I don’t know what you’re nodding at, baby.”  
Byeongkwan is silent for a few more seconds, looking like he is finding his voice.  
“I need you.”  
Seyoon needs no more affirmation, unable to push his burning desire away for any longer. He captures the younger in a feverish kiss, caging him between his arms.  
“There is lube under my pillow-” Byeongkwan instructs him between kisses. Seyoon finds it almost immediately, popping the cap open and dribbles the clear fluid onto his fingers.  
“Can I?”  
Byeongkwan nods quickly, his orange hair bouncing around his cheeks. As he lowers his lubed fingers towards Byeongkwan’s entrance, he deliberately allows some to drip down, pooling on the younger’s flushed skin. The way his muscles flex under every dribble that lands emphasizes how worked up Byeongkwan is. No wonder he came so quickly when Seyoon blew him. It’s as endearing as it is arousing.  
He lets his index finger nudge the rim, coating it with some lube. The hitch in Byeongkwan’s breath is immediate, as is the slight twitch just where Seyoon’s finger is ghosting.  
“You’re so responsive, baby. It drives me crazy.” he murmurs, unable to tear his gaze away from Byeongkwan’s hole.  
“Please-” he hears Byeongkwan whine needily, just as he breaches the tight ring of muscle. The suction is mesmerizing to watch, he doesn’t even have to push for Byeongkwan’s body to let him in. It’s so tight and so hot, Seyoon has to close his eyes quickly to not faint. And he has half a finger inside. He is screwed.  
“Fuck. You have to relax, baby.” he breathes.  
“I’m trying. It’s just- ah- so different from my own-”  
Is he implying..? Seyoon has to ask.  
“Have you never- uh- been- I mean has someone else-”  
Well, fuck that. He hopes Byeongkwan understands.  
“No, never. You’re my first- uh- my first everything.” he admits, and something possessive nestles inside Seyoon’s heart. Fuck.  
“And you’re sure you want to- to- give this- give yourself- to me?” he questions, voice wavering pathetically. Instead of a verbal answer, Byeongkwan just clenches around his finger and nods confidently. Seyoon unconsciously copies the nod and presses the remaining length of his finger inside of Byeongkwan. Seyoon thoughtfully moves his finger in a steady pace, warming him up so he can use a second finger.  
“Tell me when you need-” he starts, but Byeongkwan finishes the sentence for him.  
“More.”  
They both hold their breaths as Seyoon adds a second digit, which allows the wet noise of lubed fingers to be heard extra clearly. Kind of gross, and still he doesn’t hate it. Seyoon searches Byeongkwan’s face for any discomfort, and notices that he is scrunching his nose a little bit, eyes shut tightly.  
“Does it hurt?”  
The younger nods, but continues to grind against him, urging him to continue fingering him.  
“I want you to be naked aswell, hyung.” he whines, pouting in Seyoon’s direction.  
“I will be, I promise. I just- I wanna finish stretching you first.” he assures him. It’s also for safety for himself, being restrained by clothes is a great way to make sure he isn’t rushing the stretching process, which is incredibly important given the very special circumstances. Byeongkwan might be eager, but he is also inexperienced. And so it is Seyoon’s job to take care of him accordingly. Because he is the hyung. But mostly it’s because he is in love. And he wants to make this as amazing as he possibly can for his baby.  
Byeongkwan’s moans increase in volume when Seyoon carefully scissors him, as gently as he can. He is still so tight, and Seyoon’s cock throbs in anticipation.  
“Shit, you’re gonna feel so fucking good baby. Can’t wait to get inside of you.”  
“Please, Yoonie.” Byeongkwan pants, unconsciously clenching around Seyoon’s three fingers scissoring him. The way Seyoon’s name spills from his lips turns him on to no end, he could literally cum from that only.  
“Fuck, I love hearing you say my name like that. You’re being so good for me, Kwannie.”  
“Let me undress you, please?”  
Seyoon withdraws his fingers, wincing at the nasty squelch it creates. Immediately, Byeongkwan sits up and Seyoon swears he has never seen anybody so eager to get him out of his pants. When he is down to only his underwear, Byeongkwan drinks him in, lips parted and shiny. His fingertips reach out to ghost Seyoon’s abs, tracing the skin above the elastic of his boxers. His hands create flecks of electricity exploding everywhere they reach, coaxing moans from Seyoon’s throat. Then he stops in his tracks, gaze fixated on Seyoon’s very obvious boner.  
“It’s huge.” he bursts out, eyes wide when he realizes that Seyoon heard him. He has no idea what to answer. It is what it is, every person he has ever slept with has gushed over his size. But the way Byeongkwan does it is so innocent, he doesn’t feel objectified like he usually does when anybody mentions his dick.  
“It works.” is his fantastically cringey answer. He wants to slap himself into next week because wow, that was real smooth and sexy. Fortunately, Byeongkwan just whickers, his gummy smile in place.  
“I hope so. Will you show me?”  
He feels the blooming blush spread over his torso, and dives in for another kiss before it becomes too obvious. Pushing Byeongkwan down firmly with his lips, he mentally prepares himself to remove his boxers. He keeps his eyes downcast as he retracts from Byeongkwan, and quickly pulls off his underwear. Byeongkwan is quiet, and Seyoon looks up. The other male seems worried, and Seyoon puts a hand on his thigh.  
“If you’re scared or if you changed your mind, I won’t be upset. I swear.” he mumbles. He would of course be a bit disappointed, but this is not about him. His priority is Byeongkwan’s wellbeing.  
“I do want it. I’m just- will it fit? Inside?” he inquires, as if Seyoon would know just because he is the owner. It’s adorably stupid. Then he is pulled down on top of Byeongkwan, and manages to catch himself so he doesn’t land with his full body weight on him.  
For a while, they just lie there, exchanging breaths, existing together.  
“This is bonkers. I’d never- I was scared we’d never meet.” the younger whispers, peeking at him through his lashes. Seyoon nods. He, too, had felt that fear. And to know now, that he never has to worry about it… it is like having a weight being lifted off his shoulders. He will never have to wonder, what could have been?  
They are silent for a few more seconds, just enjoying the heated air between them.  
“Can I- are you- do you feel ready?” he asks, body itching for that ultimate closeness. Byeongkwan nods shakily. Seyoon lifts himself up with one arm, while the other reaches for his dick so that he can align the tip with Byeongkwan’s entrance. Then, the thought strikes him.  
“Oh, damn. I didn’t bring any condoms, I’m sor-” he curses. How could he have been so dense to forget such a thing?  
“I’m clean. And I trust- I trust you.”  
Seyoon pauses, blinking at Byeongkwan.  
“Please, just- I want all of you.” he begs, and Seyoon can’t possibly say no to him.  
“Jeez. I’m not even inside you and just your voice and the way you say things- fuck, Kwannie.” he groans, hips bucking forward involuntarily, pushing the tip of his erection inside of Byeongkwan with no warning. The feeling is so intense he gets lightheaded, and the only thing snapping him out of the daze is Byeongkwan yelling in pain.  
“No, baby, I’m sorry! I hurt you, fuck, I’m so sorry-”  
He is cut off by Byeongkwan’s lips crashing with his in a desperate attempt to distract.  
“Go- continue- Yoonie- please-” Byeongkwan sobs between the sloppy kisses. And Seyoon obeys, shivering as the tight, wet head sucks him deeper until he is bottoming out and Byeongkwan is full on bawling. Seyoon’s fuzzy mind scrambles to try to figure out how to salvage the situation.  
“Baby, please talk to me. Am I hurting you too much? Please, Kwannie. I can see and _feel_ how tense you are. Let me help you?”  
Byeongkwan doesn’t answer, he only continues to cry, heaving for air with irregular, wheezing breaths. Seyoon is close to panicking himself, this is a disaster and he has no idea what to do. He would pull out, but Byeongkwan is clenching around him so hard it will only hurt him more if he tries. So he is stuck. Literally. He tries petting Byeongkwan’s hair, but to no avail. He isn’t even sure if the younger is registering the touch.  
“I- I wanna be- be good for- for you-” he finally manages to get out with a few hiccups. Seyoon’s heart breaks. No, no, no. Sweet, lovely Kwannie. This isn’t about Seyoon. Fuck.  
“You are- baby- I swear. Do you still wanna do this? I can- I can pull out if-”  
“Kisses?” Byeongkwan tries, gaze terrified as he meets Seyoon’s eyes.  
“Kisses. Of course baby boy.”  
Seyoon begins to bombard his face with soft kisses, everywhere he can reach.  
“Can you- like- talk me through it? Like- like you did that- you know that one night on the phone. Your voice helps.” Byeongkwan pleads, voice thin. And Seyoon indulges him, twaddling about insignificant topics just to put Byeongkwan’s mind at ease. Every few seconds he pauses to press feather light pecks on the younger’s cheeks and nose, before moving along with the nonsense.  
When his dick finally feels like it won’t be cut off by Byeongkwan’s ass, he starts complimenting him.  
“You’re the prettiest boy in the world.”  
“You’re being such a good baby.”  
“I adore your skin, it’s so soft.”  
“I love it when you laugh out loud without covering your mouth.”  
As he showers Byeongkwan with affection, the younger has trailed down to where Seyoon is buried inside of him. He pokes there, gently, prompting Seyoon to halt his talking within seconds.  
“What are you-”  
“Just feeling.” he muses. “My skin is so- so tense- where it’s around you.”  
Seyoon chokes a little on his saliva, unable to withhold a tiny snap of his pelvis, making Byeongkwan flinch.  
“Fuck, Kwan. You’re driving me into insanity. It’s- uh- so hard to stay still right now.” he tries explaining, because it’s really becoming impossible when Byeongkwan is touching them like that.  
“Can you try to- to move a little? I think it will be fine, now.”  
Seyoon’s hips stutter a bit too harshly, causing a small agonized whimper to escape Byeongkwan.  
“So- sorry. Fuck. I can barely control my body. I’m so sorry, baby. You’re so- fuck- fucking tight, I can’t think straight.” he excuses over and over. Byeongkwan snickers.  
“That is because you’re gay, hyung.”  
Seyoon laughs once he gets the joke, and both of them relax instantly.  
“You’re so wise, kitten.” he praises, smiling softly. He can feel Byeongkwan’s body loosening up as time passes, and Byeongkwan probably feels it too, because his eyes are sparkling when he looks at Seyoon.  
“Again.”  
Seyoon gives a calculated, slow roll of his hips.  
“Please, _again_ .”  
He pulls out a bit, feeling Byeongkwan’s tight insides cling onto him, and thrusts forward once more until he is bottoming out. He must have hit the perfect spot because Byeongkwan’s eyes roll back and he fucking _mewls_ .  
“Oh _shit_ , yes. Right there, hyung!”  
“Yeah?” Seyoon groans, aiming his thrust with more confidence for each moan that spills from Byeongkwan’s full lips. His hands grab at Seyoon’s shoulders, nails leaving little crescent indents on his skin. Seyoon manages to set a scarily pleasurable pace, and his orgasm is coming on way too fast.  
“Yes, Yoonie- ah- fu- _fuck-_ ” Byeongkwan whines wantonly, spurring Seyoon on to fuck him harder.  
“Say my- my name again, kitten- I’m so fucking close.” he growls, and Byeongkwan complies at once.  
“Ah, me too. Yoonie, please- please, Seyoon- can you- ah- inside- _please-_ ”  
It’s too much, too tight, too wet, it’s everything.  
“Cum for me, Kwannie- fuck!”  
And Byeongkwan does, untouched and screaming Seyoon’s name. And he snaps, thrusting mercilessly into the younger’s willing body, spasming all around him, emptying him until he has no more to give.  
Their breaths even out, and suddenly it’s so quiet. There is a wet plop as Seyoon pulls out, and Byeongkwan laughs airily as he clings to Seyoon’s soaked skin, weeping quietly in the crook of his neck. He instantly takes Byeongkwan’s face in his hands, wiping the tears gently.  
“Good tears, I hope?”  
The younger beams, gummy and silly.  
“The best tears.”

  
  


☆

  
  


“- so I was like ‘Yoon, you need to forget that penpal, I found the perfect boyfriend for you!’ and he wanted to strangle me right then and there!”  
“Absolutely did not.” Seyoon retorts.  
“I wouldn’t blame you.” Donghun adds with a wink that earns him an upset slap on his shoulder by his boyfriend.  
“But then Kwannie started studying at our campus, and you won’t _believe_ me when I say that I actually was the one to make them meet in real life!”  
“That is because it wasn’t you who brought us together.” Byeongkwan sighs, sitting down at the table.  
“I tried setting you guys up, at the graduation party, remember?” Junhee points out.  
“Yeah, but we didn’t meet because of that, _remember_ ?”  
“So then how _did_ you meet?” Yuchan pipes up, all big puppy eyes and smiles.  
It’s amazing, really, finally hanging out all five of them. Celebrating Byeongkwan’s birthday with bowling and shitty food court food. Seyoon isn’t surprised in the slightest that Junhee tries to convince Donghun and Yuchan that he made Seyoon and Byeongkwan an item. Donghun isn’t falling for that bullshit, but Yuchan seems to believe him entirely.  
“Funny story, actually. Isn’t it, _Wow_ ?” Byeongkwan teases, and he does that ugly eyebrow wiggle that drives Seyoon mad.  
“That we are never talking about.” he yells, quickly scrambling to smooch his boyfriend into silence. Donghun pretends to throw up in Yuchans lap, and Junhee looks like he’s seen a ghost.  
“Wait, how the fuck did you know about that nickname?”  
“Funny story, actually-” Byeongkwan cuts himself off squealing as Seyoon tickles him to stop him from saying anything else. No, they wouldn’t actually tell, not yet at least.

  
  


☆☆☆☆☆

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls comment, it means everything to us authors!  
> until next time, uwus only.  
> xx


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